Letters to the A.N.U.S.

From: "DAve B" <privatejoker@angelfire.com> Subject: (No Subject) I have just read the 'metal rant' about Chuck Schuldiner on your website. I must say that I am quite disgusted and appalled, but somehow not surprised. While I do find your reviews to be original and quite comprehensive, I always had a feeling that everyone at the Hessian Society were nothing but a bunch of small minded, easily lead automatons. To say that ANY sort of ideology or philosophy is unwelcome into the art of metal makes you no better than the Christians that both you and I cannot tolerate. While I despise the Christian faith, I do not say what others should and should not believe. To say that Christianity does not belong in death metal makes you much more blasphemous to the metal code of ethics than Chuck ever was. Never more will I return to you website of ill-repute, and I will discourage all metal fans and listeners to avoid you page AT ALL COSTS. Have a nice death, facists. Kadath

And we care about missing out on one more pissed-off armchair surfer why?

From: non avail <blsxxx@yahoo.com> Subject: The Metal FAQ I'm kind of interested in seeing when you and your associates were given the publishing rights to say what metal is and isnt. I'm intrigued. Considering the fact that most people that listen or play metal have a complete 180 of opinion of what you say it is or would think your wrong in some ways. Please, tell me, becuase the last time I listened to some early 80s metal, I wasnt hearing all this Hitler loving and general hatred and misinformation. I also enjoy that you call everything you disagree with propagandic and ignorant, but you say you are about being free willed and spirited. Whoever wrote this is like the purest example of why people talk shit about anyone who listens to metal. Please, grow up. And the whole anus.com thing, I guess you are trying to say you are a closet homo, which is ok, but I doubt your friends would appreciate it over at the Stormfront forum.

Yawn... one more guy who knows what he doesn't like, but has no idea what he likes. You get points for tastefully avoiding the cliché "You must be faggots" and for failing to understand the FAQ at all. You can win redemption if you point out one place where the FAQ claims 80s metal has anything to do with postliberal politics, but you won't be able to, since that part of the FAQ is about black metal... one subgenre out of at least five. Please go back to your pathetic existence and your overlooked USBM band ;)

From: drew <wawadrew@yahoo.com> Subject: your site is brilliant, but... i've quite enjoyed your site for a year or so now, the ideas expressed seem very logical, well thought out, and i find myself in complete agreement with almost everything expressed. i have one question that has continue to nag at me for a long while. why the insistence on praising/following "satan"? if you throw out the entire judeo/chirstian sham, then surely you throw out the idea of "satan", no? it just seems inconsistent to me. by believing in such a being you are using the same tactics the fucking christians do(albeit to scare them by embracing what they fear), and in doing so giving them creedence and justification. the realization that the entire judeo/christian movement is nothing more than a way to control people and thought, and is complete and utter bullshit and a scam that should be completely erased from the earth, seems to me at least, to completely nullify the idea of "satan" i could be missing something though. if so, i'd like to be set straight on all this. thanks -drew

Thanks for writing inward. As in many artistic genres, our site uses Satan and other images from the past as metaphor. For a good idea of what Satan might represent, check out a copy of Blake's "The Marriage of Heaven and Hell," the Nag Hammadi texts, or Milton's "Paradise Lost."

From: staylor@necinfrontia.com Subject: Texas secession You guys don't seem to be having much luck with your Texas secession ideas do you? Maybe you need to realize that you're nothing but a lunatic fringe and nobody gives a damn

Except people like you, who get upset and can't help themselves, so they write in to be abused.

From: "Guido Heijnens" <guido@hammerheart.com> Cc: "DESIGN-MARCO" <design@hammerheart.com>, <tanzid2@hotmail.com> Subject: on Chuck Schuldiner... Hey pathetic guys... Unbelievable you speak about Chuck like this, what is your age, 12 years old or what ??? Believe me, I am not christian at all, but even if Chuck was, who are you to speak these things about a well respected, wonderfull Metal musician ? Let Chuck's music do the speaking.... People like you are the christians in this world with your moralistic bullshit. If you are trully that "evil" and "satanic" then you would know that everyone should free and able do chase happiness in their own personal way. Maybe the name of your website says it all....anus.com, yes, what else could I expect from people with this name...maybe you are what comes out of an anus...shit ! Guido Heijnens Hammerheart Records

Yeah, we care what the biggest ripoff label in metal thinks!

It's very "Christian" of you to assume that each individual should do what they want, despite consquences. What if Chuck had "wanted" to dump toxic waste in the river Thames? But it's good you wrote his mother to stop her from hurting.

And what was Chuck's contribution again? I think Sepultura, Bathory, Sodom, Celtic Frost, Possessed, Master and Morbid Angel all beat him to the punch with their first death metal albums.

From: kelechi darl <dkelechi@caramail.com> Subject: BELIEVE IN GOD. LOOK I MUST LET YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT A BEING, SINCE YOU CAN OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND SAY TRASH. NOTE: GOD IS ALIVE AND JESUS CHRIST IS THE ONLY SON OF GOD.SO YOU GO AND REPENT AND BELIEVE IN GOD.

Hysterical disorganized ranting always makes me want to change religion.

From: "Selim Lemouchi" <selim666@hotmail.com> Subject: My 2 cents Dear mister Prozak, My name is Selim Lemouchi, I am a 22 year musician from Holland. I am not really shure I've got the right person for this but I have got a couple of questions about anus.com, that is if you're willing to spare some of you're time for me. I have been reading a lot of the reviews on the site, mostly the black metal section, and I've been seeing a lot of what could be easily described as pro-nazi rhetoric. my question is are the people at anus who are in my opinion very smart and educated writers, also of facist/nazist persuasion? Are music, heritage and politics a trinity by which anus reviews the bands? I ask this because a band like Graveland which, in my opinion, is nothing more than a 3rd rate bandwagon Nazi black metal band, are up there with emperor and ildjarn as house recomendation. I know that there are a lot of fascist and deeply chauvinist BM bands/artists out there (Burzum/Impaled Nazarene/Necromantia) but I personally just like the music and the overall atmosphere, and as long as the nazist ideas are not presented in the lyrical content I don't mind the personall beliefs of the individuals in the bands. Furthermore when I read the Hessian studies (where does hessian come from? "Rudolf Hess"???) I sense a broad anti-leftist vibe, would you care to explain these things? I am not trying to put anus in a bad light but I am simplly curious about these things. I Always thought black metal was about the freedom to think/do what you will, and not caring to much about the social implications, for me that includes judging people on account of their actions and not their heritage. Thanks for your time!!! selim lemouchi PS I would like to close on a positive note; namely the fact that in all my quests for good BM documentation there has never been a site/book/whatever that has given this much in depth research into the conceptual, musical and historical merits of the genre. although far from complete anus gives the best possible overview for my favourite music so please keep on the good work!!!

This question seems to come up a lot, which makes sense given its predominance in the world media. George Bush calls Saddam Hussein an "evil fascist" and we all run to crush him, because that's the "right thing to do"! In other words, morality is total social control, even if it seems to keep away those you've been taught are the essence of bad.

We review by music and coherence to metal ideals. Our personal politics have little to do with it, with the exception that we discriminate against Judeo-Christian bands as it is metal to do so.

Our view is that graveland is amazing music, although if you've only heard "creed of iron" and the full-length before it I don't blame you for thinking they're second rate.

If you sense a "broad anti-leftist vibe," you're correct. We're against many things, including the forms of secular Christianity known as leftism and humanism. Did you know that during a time known as the "Renaissance" in Europe many great things occurred, but also some horrible ones, including the acceptance of morality as a secular value, and the idea that human beings must be the center of the universe and the top of the food chain?

Black metal is if anything a revolution against individualism and leftist and other humanist philosophies derived from the Judeo- Christian religions. It is not a tolerant genre. While anus.com does not necessarily share the beliefs of these artists, we celebrate each artist for what inspires them, taboo or not ("freedom of thought").

I find it deplorable that people devoted to "freedom" consider a witch hunt against certain political beliefs acceptable. If one desires freedom it must apply to all beliefs, even those that are currently very scary in the view of the general public.

Thanks for writing and bringing this important issue to our attention in such a literate, respectful way.

From: "sheldon kierley" <skierley@hotmail.com> Subject: Count the cost Ijust visited your web site and can only say one thing; COUNT THE COST!! You take pleasure in mocking God and his creation. Remember, he did create the world and everybody in it, and he will punish those who die in their sin. Please realize, God loved you so much he gave his son's life for you, don't throw it back in his face. God doesn't want to destroy you, but he will. Remember, Satan is a created being, God IS NOT! I have felt his wrath and it is not a fun thing. PLEASE RECONSIDER WHAT YOU ARE DOING!! When you die, and are seperated from God for good, you will wish you had listened to these words of warning. Remember, God will only strive with you for so long before it is too late, don't end up dead and seperated from the only one who ever truly loves you and wants to bless you. Don't listen to Satan's lies anymore, remember, it was Satan who lied to the angels and now they suffer the same fate. I say these things because I care. I was once a Christian who knew God and his love until Satan decieved

One of the things they taught us in advertising is that if you repeat anything enough while appearing "passionate" or "upset," people will assume it's profound. Christianity causes humankind to separate from nature and consider nature to be a gift of "God" for our use and misuse. That's insane. "God" himself has no precedent in nature except humanity, which are less godlike than one part of a natural system with a specific role to play. My advice is to get over your morality and more importantly, get over your mortality. YOU ARE GOING TO DIE. DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR LIFE INSTEAD OF OBSESSING ABOUT YOUR DEATH. Stop being so negative and embrace what is in all of its terror, beauty and luscious joy.

From: MR. DOUBT <turncoat@aol.com> Subject: YOU BAD ASSHOLE YOU BAD ASSHOLE. NAZIS BAD. SATAN BAD. WHY YOU SO BAD ASSHOLE? ANUS MEANS PLACE WHERE SHIT COME OUT. YOU JUST PSEUDO-INTELLECTUAL. YOU FULL OF HATE. YOU MUST BE LOSER, CAN'T GET LAID, LIVE WITH PARENTS. YOU PROBABLY HAVE JEWISH ANCESTOR WICH IS WHY YOU HATE RELIGION. SUCH LOSER! TINY PENIS MUST YOU HAVE. BET YOU HAVE BIBLE ON NIGHTSTAND! YOU NEVER WIN. SOCIETY ROLL OVER YOU LIKE ANT IN BLENDER. YOU JUST BEATEN BY NUNS. OH YOUR REVIEWS SUCK TOO. MY SITE MUCH BETTER! YOU GO FUCK OFF NOW, LOTS OF HORSE DICK TO SUCK. YOU BAD. SATAN NAZI BAD.

Anyone who doesn't like society as is must have failed in it. There are no honest dissenters.

From: the faithful <faithful2@earthlink.net> Subject: Soon you will see how Wrong you were all these years. You are like a puppy that got spanked once and so you lash out at GOD but don't you realize only GOD can save you from your own anger. You are drowning in your own hatred and should realize that only GOD is LOVE.

Rip the sacred flesh
Sodomize the holy asshole
Drink the red blood of the mother of earth
Masturbation on the dead body of christ
The king of Jews is dead
and so are the lies
Vomit on the host of Heaven
Masturbate on the throne of God
Break the seals of angels
Drink the sweet blood of Christ
Taste the flesh of the priest
Sodomize holy nuns
The king of Jews is a liar
The Heavens will burn
Dethrone the son of God
God is dead
Holyness is gone
Purity is gone
Prayers are burned
Covered in black shit
Rape the holy ghost
Unclean birth of Jesus Christ
Heaven will fall
Fuck the church
Fuck Christ
Fuck the Virgin
Fuck the gods of Heaven
Fuck the name of Jesus

From: Michael Flathers <MRflathe@Anselm.Edu> Subject: you guys are a joke. Let me guess you are attention-craving losers who cant get girls, and are morons. I am guessing that I am right and you are exactly that. I am not even that religious, but you guys are fucking retarded. I just thought that you should know that.

That's right. Anyone who has any desire for "change" must be unable to get laid or have friends. Since that's your logic, you must be an attention-craving loser to write to us, correct?

From: ROCKYMTNDRIFTER@webtv.net Subject: I HATE YOU YOU FUCKING QUEER BASTARD NIGGERS MAY YOUR SOUL BURN IN HELL YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE BASTARD.GOD WILL PUNISH YOU RELENTLESSLY,BECAUSE HE PROMISED ME THAT YOU ARE A PIECE OF GARBAGE VOMIT ASSHOLE BASTARD! OK?

I'm still trying out the linguistic implications of "ASSHOLE BASTARD." I didn't know it was possible to get pregnant that way.

From: Cory Sutton <csutton@mem.haroldives.com> Subject: What is metal? Can you help me solve a dispute? What would you classify Tool and A Perfect Circle? I say that at the end of the day when all is said and done they are metal, do you agree? my friend says they are alternative, I know this is a somewhat childish question but it needs to be settled. Thanks for any help you can give. Cory

Great question. The answer: these bands are mainstream alternative bands that borrow heavy metal stylings. Since heavy metal isn't that much different from rock-n-roll in a generalized sense, it's easy to merge the two into minor-key whining. It's important that these bands not be seen as metal for an understanding of whatever artistic ambitions they have. It's also useful for mocking them for being such corporate stooges preaching politically-correct, socially-conformist rhetoric disguised as rebellious "entertainment."

From: Sookayjay@aol.com Subject: (no subject) u r fuckin dickheads

This one floored us. At least he's got the sense not to pretend he's somehow making an argument or starting a debate.

From: Jarrett <Jarrett@mj3.net> Subject: FU You sick fucks deserve to die. You should shove a shotgun up your ass, and pull the trigger. Fuck you all.

Thanks for the advice. There's nothing like some drunk guy writing in to tell us to fuck off to reaffirm our knowledge that we irritate the fuck out of you sheep.

From: Tony Blair <t.blair@westminister.uk.gov> Subject: MASTERBATING Organization: Labour Party Praise the lord all rejoyce the lord is hear 2 save us and u fuckin sick shitheads are gunna go 2 fuckin hell where u belong u sick and twusterd shit heads I LOVE GOD AND GOD IS GREAT

That explains the need to attack "evil" like Iraq, which has been under constant U.S. assault for ten years.

From: popy@bluewin.ch Subject: HORRIBLE You are STUPIDS for this HORRIBLE photos

You are OBLIVIOUS if you think we weren't going to laugh at this.

From: Draxamor@aol.com Subject: Questions. Is there any way I can get an e-mail address at that host? Like Draxamor@anus.com? Also, why do you consider yourselves Nihilistic, when you believe in positive change? Drax

Good questions. First, no to the e-mail address. Second, we're nihilists because we believe society is hysterial and neurotic with its divisions of "good" and "evil," and what we first need is an absence of trained or inherent belief in order to see the truth clearly. A little bit of antisociality, a little bit of THC, some meditation and lots of continental philosophy can cure the problem of "Western culture" in anyone with a reasonable intelligence.

From: Justhitme72@aol.com Subject: (no subject) what the hell do you think you people are doing to other human beings, thats sick and wrong and if I was you I would stop before you get in a bigger mess

Before, we didn't do anything and society got in a big ol' mess anyway. Now we're doing something, and the mess keeps getting bigger. Is it all our fault? Oh no!

From: Keith K <keith84@snet.net> Subject: Cannible Corpse Why don't you feature Cannible Corpse in your reviews? It seems like they don't get much respect from serious death metal fans.

Yes, there are several good reasons. Thanks for writing in such a respectful manner (you should see the other letters we get on this topic). First, Cannibal Corpse stole everything they know about making metal from more reputable bands (Morpheus Descends, Suffocation, Immolation, Incantation). Second, they're sold-out corporate whores. Third, but not necessarily in this order, their lyrics are dishonorable toward women and we want no part of that. If you can't get laid or have a small dick, writing lyrics like "Stripped, Raped and Strangled" is a good way to make the whole genre look stupid. We don't moralize either side of the process: Cannibal Corpse is fucking stupid.

From: MONSTERX74@aol.com Subject: (no subject) Fuck You

ASSHOLE BASTARD.

From: Alejandroelunico@aol.com Subject: spinoza you are afraid. why there is no need to fear what is coming. death is but a rebirth of what you have already expirienced, BIRTH. as you so temptously put it, that you have been placed by society in position to fail. but you do not see the rest hovering around you. WAKE UP. death is only but a test to see how strong you live.              ALEJANDROELUNICO

Funny, I thought death was what happened when life ended, and thus my quarter's worth was up. You can learn a lot from videogames: when they pull the plug, your game is over!

From: "emcee axon" <emceeaxon@hotmail.com> Subject: your site... ....Yeah I just checked out your site - it sucks. Lacks quallity content, Unoriginal pics(seen 'em in homocide books), and among other things the site is just plain worthless. You're fighting for a lost cause, sure , we'd all like a little anarchy but come on how realistic is that... I actually feel embarassed for people like you. You are the imbred people in trailers, the uneducated, and the ones that when you realise how you wasted so much of your time with this bullshit that you spew- will be lookin' for a hand out from the ones you put down --sayin' you're the government take care of me , your citizen, and they will, to some extent, but fuck it you're an "anarchist" why don't you just take all the american(you know the country you wish to have no laws and provide no rights or protection for you cause you're fuckin' superman and have the ability to take on the other billion anarchists that will be runnin wild trying to fuck you in the ass if there were no rules or regulations...but anyway back to what I was sayin...)currency - take all that money, that green cloth and burn all that you have. Call it a protest...go...do it right now---------do it.....I didn't think so ......no anarchist has the balls to do that because you are all hypocrites. But you already know that. As for your hate of GOD ... I hope you change your ways ..read the Bible actually read it...I bet you never have....so all your bashing is out of ignorance (see paragraph 2 line 4)Find JESUS for your sake ...I did and I was just like you...........and remember the BIBLE for the most part is teachings and metaphors don't take too much literally..........oh one more thing..........if you stay as you are now remember this "you can do more damage on the inside than you can outside"........think about it.........and fuck you cause I'm an anarchist and a christian!

Dearest reader, I think you have a very negative view of life. Anarchy assumes that we can't govern ourselves, therefore we should govern ourselves. Christianity assumes that since we can't handle death, we should make up a magic world of supernatural symbols where it isn't real. Bottom line: both are crazy, and you are too. I can only suggest more Morbid Angel, Ildjarn and Dead Can Dance in your life!

From: "Chris" <reiakai@optimonline.com> Subject: you are fucking crazy what the fuck is wrong with you, you fucking demented bastards! I mean, yeah, some morality subjects taught by any Christian churches are somewhat extreme, but this bullshit Satan crap you are publishing is the opposite of the spectrum and just as extreme as fundamental Christian doctrine. You, in essence, are being just as gay as these so called preachers. Why not just forget about all this shit and just live your life while getting wasted and having fun- that is what it's all about.          -Moderate on the doctrinal spectrum. P.S. the rest of the ANUS.COM site is cool.

Thanks for the compliments. Short answer to "why not just forget about all this shit and just live your life while getting wasted and having fun": because putting my head in the sand and masturbating has never gotten me anywhere. We're all in this together. When one of our great Christian leaders starts the next crusade in the middle east, you might find my words useful.

From: Milleniumchiild@aol.com Subject: (no subject) what kind of person runs that kind of site r u messed up i mean im sorry but thats scary

The best part is that we're not scary. We're just not buying the mainstream bullshit, the Christian and secular Judeo-Christian fatalistic ideology, and the international corporate product values system. Other than that, we're just like you! Think about that one.

From: John Darnielle <john_darnielle@themountaingoats.net> Subject: You suck I have no meaningful debate for a guy who doesn't know the meaning of either term. Just the abuse you so richly deserve. I'm not Christian, dude. Or Jewish. I was raised in an atheist household by a guy from Terre Haute, Indiana, one of the most outrageously anglo cities in the entire history of the world. My "blood," which subject seems to interest you Texan types a lot, is Anglo-Scottish on Dad's side and German on Mom's. You wouldn't know a fact if it bit you and it would be funny if it weren't so pathetic. Equally pathetic is your ongoing fumbling around in the dark trying to figure out who I am. You are a complete moron, and your curly-ass hair was awfully funny last time I saw it. Your radio show used to kick ass, though. Pity about this hard-on you've got for Jim Goad and Boyd Rice. Whatever. Sincerely, John Darnielle

Letters full of abuse are the last refuge of conformist hipsters trying to appear "different" with their melodramatic bands, railing against anything which they perceive might make change in the social situation that they exploit. In other words, you have a small dick, a small mind, and you're trying to pretend neither is true with "grand feelings" as a certain philosopher would say.

It is interesting however that our most persistent critics are those who run "competing" metal review sites. You tried to rip off the concept I've championed for years of "ambient metal" on your site, and you keep trying to cop my style, but you're still just a poser. And while you waste time writing flames, we're moving ahead and laughing at you.

From: "katherine smith" <kmorozsmith@hotmail.com> Subject: Time to come home your time will come.......... blood that you pretend to bleed will freeze in the very air you confiscate your hatred is a trick and has decieved no one but yourselves and you still believe it is a battle between unholy and holy thoughts, how foolish! you are as ignorant as you are decieved your thoughts are theatre to the massess you are a tool in thier hands! your symbols are as weak as your arguments and shock no one anymore but yourselves.......You know nothing of power -child..... you allocate to much to the ordeal and mislead yourself into thinking that you belong to evil you are a joke- a cruel placed innocent you are as virginal as your "Prayers of Hatred" I haven't been this amused since "AVE MARIA" was written.... Your not worthy of standards.. But this you must know as you play your life out as an "ANTI" your not worthy of true evil- I don't want you and your kind you defeat my purpose with your black and dark ways you make me out a goat- a poor denied castout "wronged" being you make me as useless as a denied as a childs crys only rebellious bickering that feeds off of the counter philosophys of judeo-christian thought. True evil is apothetic.. true evil is having no opinion at all true evil is not this silly power tirade that you prattle on about. heal your self and you will know that there is no power in the "CHURCH" and there is even less in your empty promises. I know eternity... I know time... I know all that is and will be. Continue as you must being a tool to the very thought that you deny and you serve Jehova well! You are his angry child who helps define the Lamb The need to complete the circle, What is love without hate? What is good without bad? You run to symbols that you cling to in reverance and submission like They do to the cross. How defining to your childlike wailing. Your sorrow rings loud in your writings. Who hurt you? Who pointed you to the way? Who denied you? Who embraced you? Hate is not the opposite to love child. Hate is the lowest level of Love. The opposite to love is apathy. The evil you embrace is the leftovers of human existance... It is what has not evolved... yet. Your primal crys and empty rantings worship no organic spirit outside of time. They are a HUMBLE AND MEEK play on the scripts. Degradation and humiliation and shame and regret are the tools they put in your hands to use... to further the cause of the rightousness. They are the paintbrushes that paint our society. You and Anton and John Paul have done a good job for the Catholic Church. You should be ordained a priest! YOU SERVE THE SAME CAUSE! Now this must be a given. And I bet you are foolish and stupid enough to believe that all the blood and the black, dark sinister thoughts make a difference. you think that having no morals marks you as one of my own. All the fucking and sucking in the world makes no difference to me.Do you think I require sacrifice fool? It is what They expect you to act and think like FOOL! They identify you by your theatre! By your crass intellectual drama. Do you think that I was a cloven hoofed- being fool! I was the most high one! I was the beautiful one. I denied myself and fell because I embraced vanity. I mocked the force that made me. I despised my station. I loathed myself because I was complete! I was finished. I was given grace and beauty and I despaired because I was complete! It was my weakness fool! My feeble inability to recognize the true nature of the gift I was given! Complete yourself and you will recognize that the very breath you breath was planned! They very thought you think was organized in time beyond measure. You have only 1 power and that alone is measly. You have only the power of choice.Nothing more. Anything beyond that is GRACE. You are like a fool in Laramie Wyoming (Luis Hutchinson/Large) who took his anger and his pain and his disillusionment -his weakness, is insuffecientcy, his meekness his contempt for himself and started to worship a "force out of time" Nothing in the God vs Devil arena kind of stuff. But his focus was on ANTICHRIST. He even named his chiled AZRIEL after the angel of death! What A FOOL HE WAS. a INNOCENT NIEVE CHILD! hE THOUGHT THAT THAT WOULD IMPRESS ME Imagine how nieve he was. How ignorant his simple feeble brain was in believing that old argument. He was a fish to the bait.HE.... LIKE YOU ARE SIMPLE LITTLE BEINGS. Time to come home. Come home. MOCK HIM??? you wouldn't even know how. Mock him? do you think its in playing the devil?How parocheal. how ignorant. Why don't you join with your fellow Jesus freaks like Jesse Helms and Oral Roberts and Ol' John Paul and throw an All night orgy. Sacrifice some virgin on Hallows Eve, Drink some blood, kill a cat.... chant some ancient prayer.Listen to ol' Cradle of Filth, King Diamond and the Morman Tabernacle Choir( all the same) Geneflect maybe do a confessional and then say a few hail Mary's. You might beat one another with your rosary beads. Its all the same to me. In the end all you have is your illusions.

"Home" is where they love you without requiring you bow down to some imaginary leader in the sky. I think you're wrong... because I worship an equally arbitrary deity, the Universal Space Unicorn. The USU tells me that he's the only god, and that he's the most powerful. Not only that, but the USU tells me I'll go to a place called "Endless Prostate Exam" if I don't start believing in him right away. Not only that, but in the USU's holy book, he says he kicked your god in the nads a few millennia ago. Those who follow the USU are the only righteous ones, and the only people who should make decisions which people of all other faiths should follow. After all, the Universal Space Unicorn told us so.

From: 09065082730@jp-t.ne.jp Subject: I HAVE BEEN A FAITHFUL VISITORTO THE ALTAR FORQUITE SOME TIME NOW. I HAVE READYOUR TEXT ABOUT DRUGS, ETC. AND I BELIEVE THERE SHOULD BE MORE PEOPLE LIKE YOU IN THIS HORRID WORLD OF SOCIAL CONFORMITY! -sin

Thank you. We love having visitors like you.

From: STARGOAT@webtv.net (lost.soul.of.life) Subject: i finally understand i have always been openminded....now i realize maybe i shouldnt be.I now understand confusion in its worst form.Should i stay in social conformity and live in denial...or cross over to what appears to be sane in a very insane world?i suddenly feel sick

It's sickening how entrapping "good intentions" have been. Everyone wants to be nice, ready for new ideas, able to judge someone on whether or not they're a scumbag? These ideas have been perverted into morality, "open-mindedness," and egalitarianism, all of which just make it easy for the degenerate elements of humanity to gain power. Fight back: pursue education, social power and status, and honest behavior to the furthest extremes possible and your example will be noted by others. As intelligent people awaken, the uniformity of the social order is thwarted, and their weapon -- doubt -- becomes our weapon of crushing the artificial and senseless social order produced. Never give up hope for change, because change is in your hands.

From: "Brendon Small" <brendon@brendonsmall.com> Subject: hey pal dear person who didn't sign his or her name, great review. a couple things: feel free to hate anything we do. remind yourself occasionally: it's only a cartoon. also you're not the only one who's allowed to like things. other people can like stuff too. there are many things that fall into many categories that may be sub- sected and chopped up and over analyzed by any online know it all 'career hessian' (love the 'career' part by the way- anyone that has to say it. . . ) and we don't care what you say spinal tap was a great movie and it will never grow tired. and what's wrong with wanking on guitar? it took me a long time to learn how to do that. sheesh, is nothing safe from you career hessians? oh you call it slander we call it love- I'm sure we could do this all day. . . i don't need to tell you where our support comes from in the metal community- i'll let you do that research on your own (should you still be frothing and all) and you can hate all of them as much as you hate us. fine with me. hipster? thank you grandpa. haven't been called that yet. you simply writing that article is spreading the word about our low budget crappy show with no advertising. we thank you for that. i'm sure you're a nice guy, now if you'll pardon me I have a ridiculous 'cartoon' to make and underground metal to fear (to a degree). cartooningly, brendon

Brendon is one of the creators of Metalocalypse, a TV cartoon for morons. He wants us to know that "you're not the only one who's allowed to like things -- other people can like stuff too" and doesn't realize that to someone who understands philosophy or just common sense, this is an idiot argument - an evasion. What if I like killing you? How do we both have it "our way"? What if I like dumping toxic waste, molesting kids, etc. etc. -- at some point, there's a line between truth and falsehood and it's not the bullshit relativism that Mr. Small endorses. Our comments are accurate -- he'll forever be an outsider to underground metal because he cannot accept its worldview, and therefore as an outsider looking in, has only negative comments to make about us to make himself feel better. His "support" in the "metal community" comes from arch-sold-out burn-outs Metallica. Thanks for writing, Brendon. In the time it took to read this, you've come to your next dose of AZT. Never forget your AZT!