there should be an image of a pot leaf here. remind the department of clichés and unique personal mantras to update the page. OKTHXBRB

marijuana is a wonderful drug. like any drug, it must be treated with care. if you use it as a replacement for life, you will become a void.

how this works: a drug can add to life, and although it may not be necessary, it's fun. it can also be a relatively harmless substance to consume with friends, like alcohol. this is also fun.

however, if life only feels good with the drug, by implication life is demoted from good to "needs a drug in order to be good." this is a negative view of the world, and an unnecessary one.

marijuana use is not a simple thing. i recommend it highly for those who know what they're doing and/or don't care about the consequences. it is my belief that almost anything, if approached heroically, can be done with success. (this probably does not apply to such dishonorable extremes as rape, snuff porn, child porn, heroin, and media magnate: you are then soulless, not because you harm others but because you harm yourself and like it.)

to use marijuana correctly, you need a three foot glass bong with good draw, some kitchen matches, water (for your throat) and a comfortable place where you feel secure.

begin early in the day by drinking a large amount of water.

follow that with two bracingly caffeinated cups of coffee. drink more water.

about a half hour later, consume one (1) shot glass of liquor, your choice. i prefer sake, and sometimes take two.

take your marijuana - preferrably high-grade indica or a hybrid of less than 25% sativa, grown outdoors in full sun with good amounts of water and plant food, in unfertilized (sinsemilla) form - and tear it apart carefully according to its fractal (for each node, there is a branch, and each branch produces a leaf/bud section and another branch). mix in with it 15% fine tobacco, preferrably the kind from 555 international cigarettes.

load that into your bong.

inhale deeply.

touch the fire from a match to the weed after counting to 2.5 (letting sulfur burn off).

draw as minimally as possible to keep the weed burning and smoke filling the bong. breathe out partially to compact smoke in your lungs and prepare capacity.

violently, quickly inhale all that is in the bong.

repeat as necessary.