___________________________________________________________________________
|                                                                           |
|                             REAL STONERS...                               |
|                                                                           |
|               WRITTEN BY: DUST RHINO    FEB, 1987     11:26pm             |
|___________________________________________________________________________|

If you have ever wondered, "Am I a stoner?", then this file is for you. Read
it. Know it. Memorize it! It will help you in your stonage career, as long as
you qualify for one. Here we go...

        Real stoners know when they are buying a shitty deal...

        Real stoners smoke dope whenever it's avaliable...

        Real stoners don't hang around with surfers or the trendy type...

        Real stoners party on Fridays, fuck around on Saturdays, and
        sleep on Sundays...

        Real stoners don't smoke "Winston Lights"

        Real stoners smoke "Marlboro Reds"

        Real stoners own their own pipes...

        Real stoners don't use toilet paper rolls for pipes...

        Real stoners know what a hooka is...

        Real stoners own, or have used a bong...

        Real stoners roll good joints...

        Real stoners don't listen to Ratt or Bon Jovi...

        Real stoners listen to pInK fLoYd...

        Real stoners meet somewhere between classes to smoke a 
        cigarette or some dope...

        Real stoners can play the guitar...

        Real stoners hate hessians...

        Real stoners smoke dope in their car...

        Real stoners never use matches unless it's an emergency...

        Real stoners have at least one lighter somewhere...

        Real stoners drink JD, Jim Beam, Smirnoffs, or Bacardi 151...

        Real stoners fry...

        Real stoners have shoulder-length hair...

        Real stoners don't listen to U2 or Wham! (or any other fag music!)...

        Real stoners go to concerts...

        Real stoners laugh at wanna-be stoners...

        Real stoners know the difference between 1 1/4 papers
        and 1 1/2 papers...

        Real stoners don't smoke menthol cigarettes...

        Real stoners have stolen at least one pipe...

        Real stoners use spray paint on their un-real school...

        Real stoners are creative...

        Real stoners shouldn't be reading this phile because they
        are real stoners...

        Real stoners are pirates, phreakers, or hackers...

        Real stoners are never geeks, whimps or losers...

        Real stoners hang out with pirates, phreakers or hackers...

        Real stoners aren't addicted to any drug...

        Real stoners have rad bikes...

        Real stoners know when to run and when not to...

        Real stoners know when to hide and when not to...

        Real stoners don't fuck up in school...

        Real stoners don't get strait A's...

        Real stoners know all the good places to smoke dope...

        Real stoners go to class as late as possible...

        Real stoners have, at one time in their life, been a fuck up...

        Real stoners have been real stoners since 7th grade...

        Real stoners have more than one dealer...

        Real stoners are real people...


Some of the above things may not apply to you, but to others they might. This
is also a generalization of stoners. If you have more Real Stoners..., just
send them in a file to the BBS you read or D/Led this file from, and I will
put it in Real Stoners II, giving you credit, of course! Until then, stay
high!

"There is no dark side of the moon really. Matter of fact it's all dark..."
                                -pInK fLoYd, dArK sIdE oF tHe mOOn