=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= DcD - DoorKnob Of The Cowardly Dolphins This Is A Parody, If You Take It Seriously You Must Have No Social Life At All, Because Obviously Your Modem Is Very Important To You. What, Your Modem IS Important To You... And It's Only 300 Baud. Sounds Like An Impotent Partner To Me, Pal. DcD Publications, 1989 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= D U M B A D S - First, a song - " Dumb ads, YEAH!, dumb ads, YEAH!, those dumb ads! " --Paul Schaefer ========================= INFO. HOW TO CREATE HEAT AND LIGHT EASILY AND EFFICIENTLY. NO EXP. NEEDED. MUST HAVE GASOLINE AND ASBESTOS SUIT. NOT RESPONSIBLE DEATH. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- WANTED: SOAP. HAVEN'T SHOWERED IN 2 YEARS AAUGH ----------------------------------------------------------------------- NEW fuck SHAMPOO: POUR UNBELIEVABLY LARGE AMOUNT ON HEAD. SLAM HEAD INTO WALL 5 TIMES REPEAT IF NOT DIZZY. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- NEW mask condoms: YOUR PARTNER WILL NEVER FEAR YOUR PENIS AGAIN. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- TRAVEL FROM PRESENT LOCATION TO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD IN SECONDS FOR FREE! CALL X1 MMCFRONGO AA96-1 ALPHA-XENON 2ORF. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- FOOD! a small inconvienent fetish. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- And now, a story . . . See Dick run. See Jane run. See Dick wrestle Jane to the ground, tear off her clothes and have wild passionate sex with her. See Jane remind Dick that Mom wants them home now. Yes, Dick is Jane's brother. See Dick blush. See Jane's "stomach" expand over the next couple of months. *********************************************************************** SUPER ELITE-PHREAKER'S NEWSLETTER THIS IS -->> TOP SECRET <<-- ELITE PHREAKER STUFF, SO MAKE SURE IT DOESN'T GET OUT TO ANYONE WHO WOULD ABUSE IT, AND THAT INCLUDES PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY PAY FOR THERE SOFTWARE!!! HEHEHEHEHEHEH!!! Phile #1 The Super Elite Phreaker's Index Welcome to the Super Elite Phreaker's newsletter. We are elite, and you are not! If you were really elite as we are, you would have not a need to read this file... hahahahahah!!! We know it all, and I can get all the money I want, it's free!!! hahahah!!! I bet you still have to pay for things, right? That's lame if you pay for things, and it is not elite. Before you become a super l0ser, you better had read these newsletter!! Index Of Super Elite Philes 1. How To Make Your VCR Not Blink "12:00" Constantly 2. Refrigerator Lights: On Or Off When The Door Is Closed? 3. 18005551212, Code: 123456 - The Complete Story On How I Actually Hacked Out A Code Without Asking For One On The C64 Exchange!! 4. How To Make Your Red Box Into A Blue Box: PAINT! 5. How To Make A Collect Call (Super Special Phile!!) 6. Will 1-800 Calls Show Up On My Phone Bill? Questionz Answered! A Phreaker's Guide To Sex (Special!!) 7. How To Card Prostitutes 8. No - Phone Sex Is Not Considered "Oral Sex" Because All You Do Is Talk. *********************************************************************** Satan's Hollow Newsletter We Hate The Super Elite Phreaker Geeks, Dammit INTRO Feel free to piss this information away to anyone you wish. I don't give a flying fuck. If you think this information is important, then you had better re-evaluate your fucking life, loser. File #1 Satan's Hollow Index 1. I Got Trashed And Ruined My VCR - So Fucking What? 2. I Keep Dead Animals In My Refrigerator - What The Fuck Am I Worried About The Light For? 3. I Don't Use Codes, I Fucking Took Over The Phone Company With My Mafia Friends, Bitch. 4. I Don't Use Red Boxes Or Blue Boxes - I Rip Payphones Out Of Walls With My Bare Hands. 5. If People Don't Accept My Collect Calls I RIP THEIR THROAT OUT. Then I Kill Their Neighbors Just For Good Measure. 6. Who The Fuck Cares If 1-800 Numbers Show Up On My Bill? Nobody Will See But Me Anyway... What, Still Live With Your FUCKING Parents? Satan's Hollow Guide To Fucking 7. How To Fuck Any Girl You Find Delicious (Requires Some Hypnotism, As Well As Knowledge Of Satanic Voodoo) 8. Fuck The Phone Sex Shit - Consult File #7 (Above, You Fucking Moron) ()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()() HER TITS EXPLODED a poem There was this girl, She had big tits, Of which I would like, to lay my mits. A good beaver she had, That was true, But that did not, Explode. ()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()() I Hate The Fucking Ice Cream Man I hate the fucking ice cream man. He comes into the neighborhood with his fucking retarted looking truck and his stupid bell that he rings constantly. He charges fucking $10.00 for a fucking ice cream sandwitch. I can get a whole box of those and pay just a little more (besides, my per unit costs will be less!). Im going to rig a bomb to his fucking bell. When he rings it his truck is going to fucking explode. BOOM! Dead ice cream man. What, your ice cream truck has a bitch inside? Well then, dead ice cream bitch. Dead, dead, dead, dead. I will kill any and all ice cream men and ice cream bitches. They deserve to die. Ring your bell in the fire laden gates of hell, where all your fucking ice cream will melt. Amen. ==================== I FUCK THE DEAD another poem I fuck the dead, And it is fun, Inside their maggot laiden genitals, I will cum. I fuck the dead, And good for me, I need not worry about, Pregnancy. I fuck the dead, Sometimes they reak, But good partners they are, So vulnerable, so meek. Sex is but, A game I play, I wonder the graveyard, Every day. ####################################################################### DcD - DoorKnob of The Cowardly Dolphins (C) 1989 DcD - All Rights Are Wrong #######################################################################