_____________________________________________________________________________ (A) (A) (, ,) cDc commune-ications (, ,) / \ presents... / \ [ x x ] [ x x ] ((~~~)) ((~~~)) ~ ~ ~ ~ WAY RAD-I-C00L cDc K-FILE #1 (cuz I couldn't think of anything else) by Hemorrhoidal Inflamation >>> a COMMUNE Publication..........1989 <<< -cDc COMMUNE OF THE DECEASED CATTLE -cDc- _____________________________________________________________________________ This file was suppozed to be a bunch of separate philes but we put 'em all together for out first K-FILE. So what? If you can't handle that than you are just too elite to be reading so give up on life and become a monk you social conformist, anti-anarchist, neo-nazi bastard!!! _____________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________ / \ / NEW k-AWEs0me phreaking teck-neek \ \ by Anal Anorexia / / -cdc 1989- / \____________________________________\ Dudes- I got the latest new phreak technique. This method is so K because it don't cost nothing and it don't show up on the fone bill so your 'rents can bitch you to death. Their is these things called 800 numbers that yuo can dial to get connected thru to things like companies. I also thionk that you can use codez on some but that is a dumb rumor that I have yet to be proved. Also it is rumored that you can call these things called voice message boxces that youi can leave messages to other doodz on but i think the guy to told me is a wannabee k-elite d00d so I doubt it is true. Anyway, here's how ya use 'em: 1) Dial 1 (from you fone d00de!@11) 2) Dial 8-0-0 (no dashes you gimp! Just the digits) 3) then dial some (any!) 7 digit number! Like this: 555-1212 (that's 1-800-555-1212) which is some neat-0 directoryt assistance operator that you can get numbers from to clal other places! Well, watch out for CDC files from me in the future in which i will deal with more brand fucken new ways to decieve the loser telco! Later! ^ ^ /-\nal /-\norexia oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo The Flourescent Green Box by Joe the Shmoe (A) .ooM (, ,) / \ [ x x ] ((~~~)) ~ ~ :: cDc Phreak Series :: Upon wondering one day of what cool mod to add to my phone next I came up with one that I don't recall ever seeing in a file. Ever want to add a hold button to your phone? Well then this file is for you. Just follow this file and you'll be transformed into a veritable phreak and your friends will marvel at your hacker prowess. Parts List ~~~~~~~~~~ SPST Switch (1) Pieces of Wire (2) Solder Soldering Iron Directions ~~~~~~~~~~ 1) Unscrew the single screw under your phone 2) Remove the cover and locate the red (ring) and green (tip) wires coming into the phone 3) Solder one wire to the red (ring) 4) Solder the other wire to the green (tip) 5) Now solder the other ends of the wires to a terminal on the switch (which terminal doesn't matter) 6) Bring the switch out the back of the phone and put the phone back together Operation ~~~~~~~~~ When you get a call that you would like to put on hold, simply flip the switch to the "hold" position (you need to do some experimenting first to find out which position is the hold position) and you may now hang the phone up without losing the connection while you go and do something else! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Watch for more philes in the cDc phreak series written by yours truly coming soon to an AE/CF/BBS near you! DISCLAIMER: This file is intended for informational purposes only and is not intended for uses beyond those proscribed by the law. The author takes no responsibility for any illegal acts committed using the information contained within this file. ___________________(c) 1989 Commune of the Deceased Cattle___________________ oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo _____________________________________________________________________________ 100 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL (lryics) Compliments of Mr. Clitoris _____________________________________________________________________________ Now you too can sing along to this great party favorite!! Thanx to Give-a-Flying-Fuck for copying the lyrics down from the tape-recording of a rager he went to one saturday night! Just follow the simple formula set of X and (X-1) to compute the next verse (use a calculator if necessary you dolt!) I edited some of it to fit into a file and make it look nicer. Gosh! That was a lot of hard work!!! Enjoy! Mr. Clitoris (') All lyrics (c)???? by ??????? _____________________________________________________________________________ (X=100 at start) X Bottles of beer on the wall X Bottles of beer Take one down pass it around (X-1) Bottles of beer on the wall (Now do it over until you get to X=0...No this isn't a part of the lyrics you complete moron!) ============================================================================= (c)1989 cDc commune-ications by Mr. Clitoris The c Stands For Clever No Doubt oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo _____________________________________________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (A) HOW TO SHOPLIFT (A) (, ,) without getting caught (, ,) / \ / \ [ x x ] by Plywood Fracture [ x x ] ((~~~)) ((~~~)) ~ ~ (c) 1989 cDc ~ ~ Commune of the Deceased Cattle _____________________________________________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The art of Shoplifting can only be perfected through careful and complete practice. The best place to shoplift are supermarkets, where security is at a minimum. If you are hungry, then they are better than a restaurant because all the food is free. Just walk down the isle with the oreos and rip a package open and scarf. Stuff a few in your pockets for later. The toy section always has neat things to steal. Those fake handcuffs are great for anarchy gags (pretend you are a psyco in front of your girlfriend and pretend you are going to handcuff her...always gets her riled up, heheheh). Those green army men are cool too. Nice room ornaments. Well, now it is on to bigger and better things...the liquor store! Well, we all know that in a liquor store there is, as the name so deftly implies, lots of booze, but the only thing that is really easy to lift are single cans of beer or wine coolers, and alcohol for minors is illegal anyway (we all know that right? heheheheheheheh). So if you are a horny, pre-pubescent bastard (like I am, hehehehehe) then the place to head to is the porno mag section. When the clerk is not looking, stash the best (and most expensive) porn mag up your shirt and jet out of that liquor store like you had nothing to live for! Then run all the way home and sneak it around mommy (that is your problem to figure out, heheheheheheh). Now that we have covered liquor stores, onto normal stores (like K-Mart). K-Marts are hard to shoplift from because of all the employees and I think they have a good security setup. I'm not sure but I think those black panels on walls have people behind them watching you (and probably jacking off too since they are hidden, heheheheheh). I have never tried to shoplift from a K-Mart because it is way risky but I bet you might be able to get away with it if you can run real fast (and manuver around old ladies and their shopping carts filled with Ben-Gay, heheheheheh). Well I guess that wraps up this cDc anarchy file. Look for more great ones coming soon. In my next file I will write about how to jay walk without getting caught. Well, have phun and remember, don't get caught!! (heheheheh) ______________________________ (c) 1989 by Plywood Fracture (heheheheheh) ______________________________ oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo How to get into cDc: -------------------- 1) Write the lyrics to the latest speed metal band in a k-rad file and upload it to a cDc system (see end of this phile). 2) Put together a pathetically sarcastic file intended to be humorous but dealing with a real topic (such as phreaking, hacking, or how to program in Applesoft bAsIc). Be sure to include a dis-claimer! 3) Pretend you are creative and go around the modem world pretending not to be k-eLiTe (butt u actually R suppozed two B eleet!1) and if we see you around & like your loserishly smug attit00d we will accept you. 4) Beg. -Ed. oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo EAT BEEF! oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo Watch for our new files containing all the lyrics to the latest Thrash/Speed Metal and New Music bands (in case you lost your album cover [OH NO!], these files come in way handy! Actually, they're just a way to get our impressively k-kool deceased cattle logo around!1!@) Special thanks to the Neon Knights for letting us use their name in our files without which we wouldn't have much notoriety in the modem world. Find some meaning for your dreary, worthless, un-elite life and call these k-gnarly suicidal cDc systems: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tony's MAgical pArl0r of S0undZ - (504) 443-3999 - 3/12/24/96/14.4/19.2 BAUD! Full Metal Sweep - (305) 625-3333 - All the latezt!!! 640 Megs B0ss Timez in T0ne T0wne - (213) 935-1111 - K-K00L K-RAD K-ELITE K-K-K ============================================================================= (c)1989 cDc commune-ications by Hemorrhoidal Inflamation 9/19/89-69 All Rights Not Worth A Drop Of Sweat From A Mules Asshole