The problem with American beer is that as many have said, as a generalization, it has a watery consistency and total lack of taste. To rectify this problem, and to stop losing export dollars to the Dutch Heineken franchise, the Americans came up with something which promised microbrew taste with major label distribution.

Well.

On first lick, this dark golden beer is full of flavor, burdening the tongue for a moment and then relenting; its sugars deliciously slutty, the beer rolls over the tongue with an inoffensive, consistent taste. Slightly fruity, with an appetizing bitterness, and an admirable consistency throughout, as all of the American beers tend to have. But then the ugly secret is revealed at the bottom of each bottle. Underneath the carmelized savories of fermentation is a gruesome, hidden truth which few in America will want to face: after the first four sips, this stuff tastes as watery and weak as any other American beer, but costs a lot more. It makes more sense to get a Sam Smith Oatmeal Stout for $3 and then chuck the rest of your money away on Pabst, as it's roughly the same effect, when compensated for intoxication and its results.