4:31 PM 9/16/2005
ANUS News

AUSTIN, TEXAS (NNS) - Continuing their historical lead over all other groups in recognizing reality, the American Nihilist Underground Society (ANUS) think-tank today released its future plan: alliance with China and domination of the dying West. "Since the West has opted for Capitalism," said Head Scientist Vijay Prozak, "It would be hypocritical for them to denounce our move toward greater wealth and power and social prestige."

Many thinkers have hypothesized that the West is reaching the culmination of a vast internal decay brought about by the egomania and neurosis of its citizens. Some, such as Prozak, argue that the "equality" and "fairness" for which earlier generations argued deprived life of any meaning except a competition for material value and recognition. This, they say, is the result of a "crowd revolt" which overthrew the aristocracy of Europe and replaced it with economic systems based on the monetary value of individual labor.

"The West once could claim to be leading," said Prozak. "For the past thousand years it has been a feeding ground for its own citizens, who have become obsessed with personal value in an external context and, thus lacking any goal to their actions, have become self-indulgent parasites." ANUS spokestroll g0sp-hell noted that this neurosis has crippled Americans' ability to fight or even act assertively. "Everyone in this place is conflict-avoidant," he said. "It cramps my goddamn style."

ANUS theoreticians predict a Chinese invasion within the next 25 years and forecast a 75% probability of victory advantage to the Chinese. "No question they're going to roll through," said CIA Analyst Brent McDonald, shortly before he became unemployed and unavailable for comment. "History repeats itself," shrugged g0sp-hell. "Wealthier societies get fat and lose sight of the quest to get better, and then they get taken out by super-motivated, mean and angry little guys."

Prozak suggested that it was not a large lost. "Most of the West as a society now is a closed door for anyone of intelligence," he said. "You can't get fascinated by TV. Professional sports seem dumb. Buying stuff doesn't float your boat. Almost everyone around you is dysfunctional and introverted. So why not just end the torment, and invite in our new masters right away?"

Merrill Lynch analyst Clint Barnes looked over some figures and summarized his answer. "I don't know about the politics or philosophy of it," he said, "but from an investment point of view, they're probably throwing in with the stronger candidate." Our camera at that point refocused on the street ten stories below, where people walked quickly and kept to themselves, with downcast eyes stroking the sidewalk. One collapsed wracked by sobs and was stepped over by those who followed. At that moment, the Chinese population rose to an estimated 1,406,313,812 people grateful to have food, clothing, shelter and an enemy to conquer.

About China

For centuries a leading power, China declined during the early modern times but with the aid of Western technology has re-positioned itself as a dominant force in politics. Its long-term plan appears to be world domination achieved by brushing aside the collapsed remnants of Western empires, including India, the Mediterranean, Europe and the United States.

About ANUS

The American Nihilist Underground Society advocates nihilism, or a removal of interpretive layers from our perception of physical reality, as a means of transcending neurotic crowdism and thus achieving adaptive success. It has been online since 1995 and attracts thousands of readers daily with articles about philosophy, politics, music and culture. Every major internet filtering service bans anus.com, and many "anti-hate" organizations decry it as an anti-crowdist site which must be censored and its perpetrators bankrupted.

http://www.anus.com/