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ANUS indicts ADL for interrupting evolution
Some fear death so much they protect useless idiots
10:00 PM 9/1/2005
The American Nihilist Underground Society (ANUS) today criticized the ADL for protesting those who take delight in the evolutionarily-positive deaths of fools in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. While ANUS is not a White Nationalist or neo-Nazi organization and is opposed to those ideologies, it celebrates the death of those who could not preserve themselves.
"Regardless of race, background, color, sexual orientation and genital size," said ANUS spokesterrorist Vijay Prozak, "the people who failed to evacuate New Orleans are by nature genetic failures. They are failed life. They could not respond to changes in reality, which means they're either insane or dysfunctional."
"They had 48 hours of warning," said ANUS CTO Penisbird. "If you cannot save your ass within two days of otherwise certain doom, you have nothing to offer humanity." He then whipped out a monster cock and sprayed his semen across the faces of the assembled members of the press, who carefully sampled the fluid and wrote observations in shorthand.
The American people, long accustomed to being manipulated emotionally by their government, are gathering today for a giant cry-in about the New Orleans disaster, and will be sending their hard-earned money to subsidize those who could not preserve themselves, in the longstanding tradition of welfare, civil rights, public education and drug treatment programs.
"This is an extension of the Christian and Jewish concept of 'pity,'" said ANUS scientist Midvinter. "When one extends pity to another, one feels personally important for having the power to help another. However, this is a cancerous notion, as it encourages the proliferation of life-forms that, being poorly adapted to their environment, would otherwise have perished."
ANUS has long promoted the idea that 7 billion humans is too much to avoid ecocide, and that, as many environmentalists have said, the sensible limit for worldwide population is a half-billion humans. "We aren't short of people, that's for sure," said ANUS infoterrorist g0sp-hell. "And most of them are brick stupid and contribute nothing except consumption and defecation, neither of which are in short supply."
New stories report that when the hurricance approached New Orleans, most people who had any sense of self-preservation got up and left. Those who remained have been unruly, assaulting police officers and looting all remaining buildings while doing nothing of a practical nature, such as trying to stop the flooding or built temporary shelter. Based on this observation, say ANUS scientists, "it's unlikely these people could survive in the wild."
"People who are inferior, regardless of race and color et cetera, will drag us down by forcing us to design society for idiots," said Prozak. "If you let them live, they breed, and soon you have to dumb everything down to accomodate them. It's great for industry, because they buy whatever they see on TV, but bad for those who can feed themselves without an instructional video."
Despite their loathing of Undermen, the ANUS organization has determined that in order to meet its projected budget needs, it will launch a line of instructional videotapes, starting with the inspirational "How To Avoid a Hurricane Within 48 Hours." The videos will be hosted by legendary underground black metal artist Paul Ledney, who will be naked and covered in blood in order to express his individuality.
The American Nihilist Underground Society advocates nihilism, or a removal of interpretive layers from our perception of physical reality, as a means of transcending illusion. Nihilism denies value and purpose, which are byproducts of the human desire to judge reality and make a consensual "social reality" that by seizing on a single material factor misses the intelligible, or design-based, knowledge we need to adapt to reality. ANUS has been promoting nihilism since 1987.
Nihilism is the belief that nothing we perceive has Absolute value; reality exists, but beyond its inherent meaning to us as the physical container of our existence, it has no significance outside of what we perceive. "The world is my representation," indeed. When we strip away all of the values projected onto physical reality and its outcomes, we are left only with personal ideal and natural ideal, and bringing the former into adaptation with the latter is the lifetime task to which nihilism is a gateway.