Cold Plate Drop Candies
You may or may not have noticed that we live in a time where the most
extreme evil consequences to our behavior are considered acceptable
and in fact normal, since after all, we don't intend to be
evil. However, we are on a sure path to tedious wage slavery, polluted
air and water, overpopulation, resource depletion and race war.
Luckily, you can strike back -- by making candies.
Especially if you have children, you may have found yourself studying
the candy available in this society. Almost all of it has three major
flaws: it's expensive considering the ingredient value, it comes in
non-biodegradable landfill-swelling packaging, and it's full of weird
chemicals that will probably turn your little darlings into bug-eyed
mutants. We have a solution.
Ingredients Instructions:
1. Place 3-5 plates in your freezer Flavoring:
Cinnamon
This is a favorite because it is blazingly easy. 3 tbsp of cinnamon to
one pound of sugar produces a sweet candy; adding in 1/5 tsp of
powdered red pepper makes cinnamon hots (stir thoroughly).
Lime/Citrus
Wash a lime with ScotchBrite or similar abrasive sponge to remove
oils, waxes, coloring, pesticides, AIDS and other artifacts of
industrial society. Using the fine mesh of your shredder, make powder
of 1 tbsp of rind and then juice 2 tbsp of liquid on top of it. Mash,
mix, pound until it's nearly uniform. Wait a few minutes for mixture
to half-cool before stirring in.
Ginger
Use 2 tbsp of ginger; see cinnamon instructions.
Strawberry
Use wet towel under running water to remove seeds from 3 medium
strawberries. Liquefy with blender and heat on low for 20 minutes,
then add sugar as the original recipe calls for.
Your children will kvetch and bitch and moan because after all, these
candies didn't come in plastic packaging with their favorite cartoon
characters on it. Tell them this is candy for spirited people who
would rather spend their money on trees than colored plastic garbage.
In about 18 years, they'll get it, and you can look forward to seeing
them blow up industry lackey scientists and burn down ecointrusive new
subdivisions.
At the time of this writing, making the cinnamon version of these
candies cost approximately 80 cents per pound, versus nearly five
dollars per pound for off-the-shelf cinnamon candies. This is the
perfect activity while waiting for the phone to ring or S.W.A.T. team
to finalize entry. – Vijay Prozak
exponentiation ezine: issue [4.0:culture]
[ music | books | film | food ]
Sugar
Flavoring
2. Heat pan on low
3. Add 1lb sugar, slowly.
Stir constantly -- spoon always in circular motion -- for about 15
minutes. This stuff burns faster than napalm, so no bathroom breaks.
Your goal is to melt the sugar, but not caramelize it fully. It will
melt into a thick liquid that is no longer gritty under your stirring
spoon (it will become translucent).
4. Turn off heat, remove from flame and add flavoring, stirring madly.
5. Using stirring spoon, drop candy in whatever form you prefer --
here we sprinkle it randomly to make small candies -- on plates and
return them to freezer. Using wax paper on the plates makes this job
easier and cleaner.
6. After 15 minutes, remove plates and let them warm up slightly, then
pry off candies. You should be able to store these at room
temperature.