A.N.U.S.

American Nihilist Underground Society

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Nihilism, Futurist Traditionalism and Conservationism

ANUS invades Canada, crushes Crowdist hopes

Royal Mounties preparing hip-hop version of "Kumbaya" and Big Macs

07 02 13 - 19:32

In opposition to global Crowdism and its manifestation in consumerism and a totalitarian society based on socialization, an offshoot of the American Nihilist Underground Society (ANUS) attacked a pacifistic Canadian university with propaganda against social control.

The group calling itself "Citizens Against Utilitarian Socialization" struck in the early hours of the morning by distributing flyers and in multiple locations on the slumbering campus. Despite the unspoken policy of Canadian universities that no reality-based organizations or opinions can stand, because they clash with the social control opinion that sensations and subjective feelings are more real than reality itself, the activist group corrupted the facade of universalism right under the noses of the authoritarians themselves.

Angry students gathered to protest the assault on their sacred illusions. "How dare they come in here and criticize us? We're fighting for freedom for the whole world, whether it wants it or not. We bring enlightenment and compassion because we are educated. What kind of an ignorant, primal, inbred, bigoted and socially backward person would ever oppose us?" said Christy Heddington, twirling her dreadlocks while fingering a crisp copy of Das Kapital.

The university is reported mobilizing a "crisis team" of grief couselors, diversity advisers, sexual therapists, Leninist economists, socialist theorists, emo kids, television connoisseurs, McDonald's and Coca-Cola executives, mystery shoppers and postmodern thinkers to counteract the "wave of hatred and ambiguity that has enveloped our community. Local news stations have stationed vans at the school entrance in case any disillusioned students upon suddenly realizing that their society has taken a wrong path to self-destruction, will then commit suicide in emotional agony.

"This is a glorious day for our revolution against the Revolution," said ANUS psychic commando Vijay Prozak. "Not only have our enemies seen that their facade of universal acceptance of permissiveness and lack of standards and values is false, but we have also forced them into logical contradiction as they object to our interpretation of freedom, truth, justice and compassion in more realistic ways than they have."

According to Prozak, modernity is a giant sidestep of reality and a path to doom for the human species. "Our ideas are based on the consequences of actions, and studying reality to pick optimal choices," he said. "Crowdists are based on the idea that every individual wants to escape reality and be responsible only to their own pleasures, so Crowdists form a political movement around the idea that everyone gets that choice. However, if even one person points out that their ideas are illogical and contradict reality, or even worse that they lead inevitably to misery, the Crowdists lose their image of being moral and universally accepted."

As a candlelight vigil began for the community split by disagreement with their definition of "hatred" and "love," a vast wail of existential despair rose from the campus. Soon the only motion was from ANUS flyers flapping in the breeze as the students, faculty and staff descended into a moral and emotional abyss from which no escape is possible.

thirteen comments

J E S U S
Today I pooped a J. What letters will I poop next? J E S U S - 08-02-’13 09:49
Not I
Deathmeatal dot ORG needs more hilarious satire and gross tragedy. Thanks! Not I - 08-02-’13 10:16
D. Quartz
The text on those flyers sure looks interesting, mind uploading a higher res or the text itself pls? D. Quartz - 08-02-’13 10:27
outraged Obama voter
"When I first saw it, my heart just dropped, it was like it skipped a beat, it was horrible."

http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/local/NJ-Girl-Charged-Over-Racist-Tweet-189424821.html outraged Obama voter - 08-02-’13 11:54
Troy Sanders jokes
Q: Why was Troy Sanders fired from the spermbank?
A: He was caught drinking at the job!

Q: What's the difference between Troy Sanders and a refrigerator?
A: A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull out the meat!

Q: What's the definition of dried fruit?
A: Troy Sanders with a vasectomy!

Q: What does Troy Sanders call a condom?
A: A lunch bag!

In a recent survey on why metal fans love Mastodon so much, 92% of the fans responded that their homosexuality was the principal factor. The remaining 8% revealed that they had been sucked into it. Troy Sanders jokes - 08-02-’13 14:22
Dave
This is an outrage. You people have gone too far this time. We are preparing a petition with pages of mass signatures for our human rights tribunal to review. Once the committee decides on our cry for justice the Canadian youth will be shielded with web filters from your further intolerant hate campaigns. Dave (URL) - 08-02-’13 17:26
str questioner
Brutal slayer, should I do cardio after strength training or before?

Or should I just give it up entirely? str questioner - 10-02-’13 00:06
Oss1666
That was pretty rough but gotta get back to internet porn now bye Oss1666 - 10-02-’13 05:10
Thy Will Be
http://www.anus.com/etc/fliers/ Thy Will Be - 10-02-’13 08:49
A true patriot and real American hero
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvsA4Sc7IP8 A true patriot and real American hero - 10-02-’13 10:05
D. Quartz
Danke schön, my nigger D. Quartz - 10-02-’13 15:44
Sodomizer of Baby Jesus
God fucking damn it, when does the Revolution begin. Sodomizer of Baby Jesus (URL) - 10-02-’13 16:12
j peter
"totalitarian society based on socialization"? lol good oxymoron j peter - 27-05-’13 16:33


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