23 09 11 - 19:44You can end up stranded in social drama -- worrying about what other people think is important, instead of finding a path to sanity:
I was filling-in time for more than a decade until I got married - and the longer this gap extended, the more obvious was the fact that nothing I did to amuse myself really mattered.
Of course, this was the time of all the 'action' in my life as far as the world outside was concerned, all the stuff that is supposed to be important - academic success, career progress, travel, high living...
It's just that - both at the time, and even more in retrospect - well, it amounts to a big effort at keeping myself distracted.
This is not an expression of regret - not a matter of saying that I wish I had done something different (because then I would not have married my wife, had my children) but that from experience it seems that people are meant to get married and start families in their early twenties or thereabouts.
That is real life - and all the lifestyle stuff is nothing, really.
The wasteland. - Bruce Charlton's Miscellany
He makes a good point. Life gives us talents, and we either use them (find a career that expresses our powers) or not. With marriage, we integrate our lives into a whole not based on the self.
All the stuff that appears to be self-based is usually socially based, like drinking with friends until four in the morning every day that week. At some point, don't you want to stay home and read a book? A greater maturity -- and greater joy -- is found in being a solitary animal that knows when to move with the ages.