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Nihilism, Futurist Traditionalism and Conservationism

Source of the Crowd: narcissistic parents

28 06 11 - 20:33

Proles follow a basic pattern: demand rights, breed until beyond carrying capacity, then blame the leaders/business/God for their failings.

Despite all the fond notions you see in movies, read in books, or hear from friends/internet morons, this is the pattern proles always follow unless oppressed.


When proles go down this path, they create social chaos and Idiocracy. They start this by destroying any values, goals, ideals or even customs held in common by people. Proles do this so they are not accountable, because if there are no standards, nothing a prole does is wrong, and nothing is their fault.

It's like using society as the ultimate crap job, where you steal all the office supplies, waste all the time and still get paid. Proles think that doing this is really brilliant, even though it's a complete waste of everyone's time.

The problem with cutting the center of society out however is that people become lost. They no longer have a guideline that says what is right, to be socially appreciated, but they've got a big popularity contest in which the competition is fierce. Most people, even good people, lose out to the dramatic types.

This whole situation puts two pressures on children:

  1. Coldness. The world is an uncaring place in which even doing good is unnoticed. Doing popular is noticed, but that's guesswork to some degree.

  2. Social competition. People are externalized into needing social affirmation, and without it, they are considered lost.

This produces bleak people who need social affirmation; because they're bleak, and have no hope of actual reward, they manipulate for short-term reward:

A parent can be a mixture of these types and often that is the case.
Although brief, the following will explain each type.

The Flamboyant-Extrovert: This is the mother about whom movies are made. She's a public entertainer, loved by the masses, but secretly feared by her intimate house partners and children. She's the show biz or stage mom and is all about performing. She's noticeable, flashy, fun and "out there." Some love her but you despise the masquerade she performs for the world. You know that you don't really matter to her and her show, except in how you make her look to the rest of the world.

The Accomplishment-Oriented: To the accomplishment-oriented mother, what you achieve in your life is paramount. Success depends on what you do, not who you are. This mom is about grades, best colleges and pertinent degrees. But... if you don't accomplish what she thinks you should, she is deeply embarrassed and may even respond with fury and rage.

The Psychosomatic: The psychosomatic mother uses illness and aches and pains to manipulate others, to get her way, and to focus attention on herself. She cares little for those around her. The way to get attention from this kind of mother is to take care of her. This kind of mother uses illness to escape from her own feelings or from having to deal with difficulties in life. You cannot be sicker than she. She will up the ante.

The Addicted: A parent with a substance abuse issue will always seem narcissistic because the addiction will speak louder than anything else. Sometimes when the addict sobers up the narcissism seems less but not always. The bottle or drug of choice will always come before the child.

The Secretly Mean: The secretly mean mother does not want others to know that she is abusive to her children. She will have a public self and a private self, which are quite different. These mothers can be kind and loving in public but are abusive and cruel at home. The unpredictable, opposite messages to the child are crazy-making.

The Emotionally Needy: While all narcissistic mothers are emotionally needy, this mother shows the characteristic more openly than others. This is the mother you have to emotionally take care of which is a losing proposition to the child. The child's feelings are neglected and the child is unlikely to receive the same nurturance that he or she is expected to provide for the parent.

If your parent had some of the above traits, it is important to note that they were not born that way. They likely had their own insurmountable barriers to receiving love and empathy when they were children. - Psychology Today

The above is in lieu of the excellent article on narcissism and pickup artists/men's rights activists that's in the August issue of Psychology Today.

Notice what these people described are like: focused on the self, as seen through the eyes of others.

This produces people who use society for their own purposes, with no intention of contributing to the group. They are, in other words, free riders.

So, of all the negative emotions, anger is different. As some researchers have noted, anger is, in some ways, more like a positive emotion than a negative one because anger can make us feel bigger, stronger, and more capable. Thus, it is not surprising that people find it easier to deal with anger than to deal with sadness, guilt, anxiety and other negative emotions.

What this translates into is: when a negative outcome occurs (e.g., failing an exam, a financial loss, break-up with a significant other), we find it easier to blame others than to take the blame because it is easier to deal with anger. Over time, the habit of blaming others leads to what may be called the "entitlement mindset."

At first, it can feel good to adopt the entitlement mindset. It can lead you to feel powerful and strong. Further, those with an entitlement mindset may find it easier to get their tasks accomplished. As the saying goes, "the squeaky wheel gets the grease." So, if you have an entitlement mindset and you express anger and frustration and complain a lot, others will cooperate-but only for a while. Sooner or later, the entitlement mindset becomes your trap.

People will discover that you are difficult to deal with. So, they won't cooperate with you. But because they are afraid of invoking your anger, they won't tell you to your face that you are difficult to deal with; they will just talk behind your back. So, on the face of it, nothing will have changed. People still listen to you politely when you get angry and worked up. But, you will find it increasingly difficult to get things done; obstacles to your progress will seem to appear from nowhere and from unforeseen quarters. - More Psychology Today

Entitlement types are like narcissists or sociopaths "lite"; either in training, or not fully gone over to The Dark Side, they nonetheless exhibit the same behavioral tendencies.

You can see how the above leads to Crowdism: a bunch of entitlement types get together, and get sick of other people pulling away, so they decide to force them to interact with the entitlement types. That requires forming a Crowd, and making laws about equality.

The end result is that everyone decides to be every man for himself, and they sabotage the society they have in common:

Results of public goods contribution games in the laboratory seem robust (start at 50%, decline to 0% over time). I run this test every semester in my classrooms to explain the conflict between self-interest and the social good. Looking at the problem from a distance, students have a hard time understanding why people fail to contribute. But once they are in the shoes of the decision-maker, they under provide the public good themselves.

How we play this game is as follows: Let say there are 20 students in the classroom. I give each student 4 cards, 2 black and 2 red. The black cards are worthless. What counts will be the number of red cards.

Every student will make a "contribution" decision. Red cards determine the level of contributions. I go around and collect two cards, face down, from each student. They have 3 options: They could give me 2 red cards (contribute totally to the public good), 2 black cards (contribute nothing to the public good) or 1 red, 1 black card (contribute half of the endowment to the public good).

Each red card they keep in their hands is worth 10 points. This is like a dollar left in our pocket instead of in the musician's hat. Each red card contributed to the common pool is worth 5 points. Once the contributions are collected, the total sum is given back to everyone to enjoy.

On the one hand, if everyone contributed both red cards, the common pool would have 40 red cards (20 people, each having given 2 red cards). That is 200 points for everyone's consumption, and that's the social maximum.

Remember, though, that there is no exclusion from the consumption of the good. So an individual will be able to consume it even when she hasn't contributed to it. Unfortunately this leads to the free-riding phenomenon: individuals want others to contribute, and they want to keep the red cards to themselves.

From an individual's point of view, the other 19 people giving both red cards up will be worth 190 points. With 2 red cards at hand, the individual collects 210 points. But people catch up on free riding, and everyone starts keeping the red cards in their hands instead of contributing, and everyone ends up with 20 points. - Even More Psychology Today

As the game goes on, we all game the game.

The result is a society falling apart from the center outward.

Narcissistic parents, who raise narcissistic kids, are products and perpetuators of this decline.

Everything disgusting in the world -- scenesters, poseurs, hipsters, con men, sociopaths, parasites, predators and Crowdists -- has the roots of its justification in narcissism.

To a narcissist, it's most convenient if we see everyone as equal and every decision as equal.

That way:

"It's my choice, and it's equal, so it's your job to clean up the mess"


"That's just your opinion, man, so let me keep doing this stupid stuff so you can clean up the mess"

Are such common refrains in our inward-looking, self-aggrandizing, pointless society.

five comments

Self-Indulgent Hedonist
Luckily for people like me there's always some sucker willing to let me leech off of them! That's the other side of this psychology report. Convenience will always win! Self-Indulgent Hedonist - 29-06-’11 04:37
something like
"Proles follow a basic pattern: demand rights, breed until beyond carrying capacity, then blame the leaders/business/God for their failings.

... this is the pattern proles always follow unless oppressed."

I'm curious as to what type of oppression you have in mind. Fascist oppression, Nazi oppression, Communist oppression, Industrial Revolution-style oppression, feudal oppression? There are lots of different kinds.

Also, I suggest you use a different word if you want it to catch on, as "oppression" has a negative connotation. something like "intense leadership" (Email ) - 29-06-’11 09:31
Dán O'Caiside
oppression is anything that holds someone back from achieving something desired or necessary. It matters not whether it's fascist, communist, nazi, industrial revolution style or feudal. I think you are just trying to sound smart, but you appear to be a narcissistic self-indulgent.

I think when he/she uses the word oppression it is meant to sound negative, or he/she might just be attempting to break the word from it's perceived meaning and give it a more worldly open ended meaning, who know who cares. Dán O'Caiside (Email ) (URL) - 01-07-’11 16:44
Oppress yourself.
@Dan, first paragraph, it does matter, because only one of those types has any lasting power, feudal, and that type leads to extreme stagnation of society. The others lead rapidly to revolution, so the plan will be self-defeating.

Second paragraph, yes, that seems to be his intent, but it won't work. Oppress yourself. (Email ) - 02-07-’11 11:12
diablo 3 gold
Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with a few pics to drive the message home a little bit, but instead of that, this is excellent blog. A great read. I'll certainly be back. diablo 3 gold (URL) - 29-01-’13 01:30

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