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Uselessness: you probably haven't heard of it

04 06 11 - 15:04

Hi, although some might call me a hipster (rolls eyes) I of course am not that, but I am an artist.

You probably haven't heard of it. We all need our place in this world, and you look like someone in one of those exciting material provider industries. Let me guess... agriculture, maybe? Or banking. You could be in finance. Nothing gauche like fixing pipes, or electrical wires, or woodworking, which is great in high school but I mean really not for me. I work in the arts and it's different.

I am also different. Where others lounge around thinking nothing profound, I make art from the unexpected fragments of a busy life.

Yes, it's true, you discover creativity in the damnedest places. A few scraps of modern life, and you have a whole new thing.

I was thinking about how much I like to be outside if there is something artistic there to accompany me.

So I had this cobbler's hook from one of my thrift store visits, where I bought it to spite my boyfriend at the time, and I had this flash of insight. I could use it as a candle holder.

The best way to do this is to hang the candle from flammable gauze -- that's edgy! -- and bolt the cobbler's hook to a fucking book, because of course that makes sense.

Voila! It's art and if you disagree, I'll have to unfriend you on Facebook.

Signed,
Utterly Useless HIpster Art Project Whore

27 comments

This can't be real. And yet it is. More proof that the end is nigh. Claire - 04-06-’11 15:30

I agree that that stuff is ridiculous, but why the *fuck* are you so fixated on complaining about/insulting people you don't like all the time? Psychologically well-adjusted people don't spend so much damn time putting others down. get a therapist (Email ) - 04-06-’11 19:47

Kind of like what you just did? Why are you reading this site? Does it have anything to do with your mother? Therapist - 04-06-’11 19:54

I think blowing the fucking thing up and making it's "creator" watch would be VERY artistic. Graveland - 04-06-’11 20:01

I read the site and it seems to be something a bored housewife put together since she likes candles more than some art school hipster chick? I mean its kinda stupid looking but I don't think she made it to make some 'profound artistic statement' etc.? Mhm - 04-06-’11 20:56

Why attack something that makes someone else happy? A better explanation is needed. Nobody was hurt by this art work and pursuing happiness is not uselessness. That is the point of society. Read your Rousseau.

I wish there was an ignore button for 'Graveland'. It is not funny when someone else uses the handle I have used for a long time here. Dave - 04-06-’11 21:01

awww, looks like some one just got dumped by his first girlfriend :( Unconcerned - 04-06-’11 21:02

That mason jar would feel great deep up in my ass. Dave - 04-06-’11 21:04

"Read your Rousseau." So much for opposing the naturalistic fallacy. This isn't ironic because it's exactly the sort of thing I expected. - 04-06-’11 21:23

Artistic, Autistic, what the hells the difference? Jerry Seinfeld - 04-06-’11 21:26

Ultimately it is good to have people like Dave around here. Three cheers for voices of dissent! - 04-06-’11 21:29

This site makes me happy...fuck off Dave. Daveland - 04-06-’11 21:33

There IS an ignore button for Graveland, Dave, and you push it every time he asks you a direct question. Duh - 04-06-’11 21:48

^ LOL Truth. - 04-06-’11 22:11

"Why are you reading this site?"

Because it's fucking hilarious. Dave Fan #1 - 05-06-’11 00:13

At one time in my life I was against the psuedo artistic hipster chicks, then I thought perhaps their real purpose is sex and to that end I would praise their hobbies asthough it were some sort of special talent, whatever it takes. But now I don't even want sex with them anymore, and to that end I have converted to fundamentalist christianity where I know at least the girls lead simple, clean and good natured lives. Oswald - 05-06-’11 02:11

It's bad to be intolerant, so I will not tolerate this site. Did I mention that all opinions are equal? All opinions except the one that says not all opinions are equal. Do you get it yet? The monkey on your back is the meta-level at which society programs you to think NO is YES and vice-versa. No Means Yes, YES MEANS ANAL (Email ) - 05-06-’11 07:27

Imagine her NOSE instead of candle there and you get OUR idea of what is art. ;)

TAKBIR!!! Pakistani Taliban PropAgit HQ - 05-06-’11 10:25

If somebody points out somebody else's lame behavior, try to make the case (no matter how much of a stretch) that their own remark exemplifies said behavior. A quick and easy way to evade any criticism. quaker instant justification, just add bullshit - 05-06-’11 11:28

I think that art is great. ANUS just doesn't understand it. Art School Student - 05-06-’11 12:19

"There IS an ignore button for Graveland, Dave, and you push it every time he asks you a direct question."

Immensely true.

Dave is soaked in liberal dogma. It has taken over his ego and turned his brain to mush.

But he feels good. Maybe he will touch me in the private place, and chant over me the verses of progressive wisdom, so that I can use equality to make everyone just like me.

Either that or we can have buttock slamming anal sex. No Means Yes, YES MEANS ANAL (Email ) - 05-06-’11 14:51

Put it in me Dave... Gaahl - 05-06-’11 14:53

What does any of this have to do with the lifestyle choices some of us make? Talk about avoiding challenges. Dave - 05-06-’11 16:13

Talk about avoiding questions. You got a lot of nerve putting a question mark after a comment bub. Gaahl - 05-06-’11 18:53

+fav/wink visitah - 08-06-’11 12:04

art can mean anything depending on the nature or context of what it means to the individual that is previewing it. can either move you for negative or positive. for myself reminds me southern wallpaper plastered in a bathroom somewhere! bloodandfire - 08-06-’11 22:08

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Uselessness: you probably haven't heard of it