Message in a bottle (to al-Qaeda)

16 05 11 - 16:01

Dear brethren in the struggle against modernity,

If we must have terrorism, please stop destroying esurient stockbrokers. While they are annoying, and barely know how to dress themselves, they are not the root of the Evil Internationalist-Modernist Regime's (EIMR) power.

Instead, turn your sights to these:

• Hollywood. American movies and television rule the world.


• The New York Times. World liberalism is cued by this resource.


• The United Nations. Lead kumbaya singers.


• Celebrities. These represent success symbols in a decadent time.

While many of us are upset that you may have killed our friends who work in the corporate hierarchy, none of us will cry if you blow away a few celebrities, fly planes into studios, execute media executives, slaughter leftist journalists, or blast giant flaming holes in the UN in its mission to give cholera to us all.

Let us take inspiration from this great hero:



Bravely, alone, he stalked John Lennon and shot him dead, ending the hysterical hippie binge that had been ongoing since 1968.

With his five victorious shots, he changed the course of history -- and showed the world that the peace, love and happiness morons were not only popular, they were mortal.

Smashing icons is sometimes more effective than killing footsoldiers.

I hope the far right listens to this too and stops harming innocent minorities. Go kill some studio executives instead. Remember to sodomize them as they die twitching.

Just sayin'

eigthteen comments

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