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Nihilism, Futurist Traditionalism and Conservationism

Leap into Life

01 11 10 - 06:41

Some people get nervous when we pick on, say, Brazil. In the modern West, we view it as poor sporting to pick on those perceived as weaker because their country is of third-world status. Yet we insist they are equal. Neurotic much? Well, yes.

Let me make this clear:

While Brazil has many problems, that's not the whole of the story. Further, Brazil has much more of an excuse. What's average IQ 103 America and Europe doing that is fundamentally different?

And there, my friends, is why people freak out when I talk about Brazil. Not that I say "Brazil has many lovely people, and totally awesome death metal, but as a civilization, it's a shantytown kleptocracy headed back toward chimpanzee status" but that I point out that America is not placed by an omnipotent God in a position above Brazil.

We can become Brazil. How? The racists will say by importing non-whites; I say importing non-whites is bad because civilizations work best when they're relatively homogenous. But that alone wouldn't do it. What will do it is drifting away from reality into a fantasyland of our own minds, where we pretend our good intentions make good results, even though the two are (mathematically, economically, physically, logically) unrelated.

And so in the grand tradition of MAD Magazine(tm)'s long-running series, I offer these Leaps into Life where we confront our delusion head on. Ready? No? Awesome, here we go:

Two Swiss tourists who chose the Maldives' white-sand beaches as the setting to renew their marriage vows were instead mocked by the officiator, who chanted abuse and curses in the local language at the unsuspecting couple.


The officiator begins chanting in the Dhivehi language that "under penal code clause seven, forbidden fornication is now legal," and goes on to insult the couple, including calling them "swine." The whole time he maintains a prayer-like, chanting tone, bowing his head and gently rocking forward and back.

"Most of the children you get will have spots on their skin. Because of these spots your children will be considered illegitimate children," he says. - AP

Hi there, Europeans, you think you're no longer a colonial power. That's in your eyes. Everyone else sees it differently because when you show up with your tourist dollars, they have to act like your friends because of the power of your currency. But they're not your friends. They are your servants and you seem OK with that. At the same time, you're not doing anything useful for them, like placing their countries under the colonial rule that brought them out of even worse poverty. So they hate you, and you'd do the same, if roles were reversed, although judging by the history of Europe, you might throw more of your time into learning, study, religious wars, internecine conflicts and inventing technology.

You wouldn't descend on Topeka, Kansas, and ask the local tribes-- I mean citizens -- to conduct a marriage rite using horseshoes and six shooters. It would be obviously condescending. But going to the Maldives and half-ass lazy-brain hiring some guy to be a priest for you, when you know nothing of the language but think it might be "exotic" (how neurotic) to have it in your ceremony, is even worse. Pretending that the impoverished locals have some Magical Negro wisdom adds insult to injury, even though you spoiled Westerners think that by telling them they are morally and spiritually advanced is a great compliment. But you still want them to do your laundry for $0.25 a day. Schizoid much?

Smart was 14 when she was abducted in the middle of the night. The disappearance transfixed the country as thousands of Utahns turned out to comb Salt Lake City and the surrounding mountains to search for her.

She was rescued nine months later after motorists spotted her walking the streets of a Salt Lake City suburb with Mitchell and Barzee.

Now, 22, Smart is expected to return to Utah from France where she is serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to testify against Mitchell. - AP

How did Elizabeth Smart get kidnapped? They never mention this: religious pity.

Her dad took pity on homeless crazy David Mitchell and hired him to do work on their half-million-dollar house, where Mitchell did what crazy homeless people do and noticed easy ways to steal and rape a blonde girl. GO FUCKING FIGURE.

Now Elizabeth Smart has cast herself into the same insanity -- or been cast, more likely -- of let's-go-help-the-poor-and-insane.

No, Christians -- your God made them as they are. They are poor because they're delusional, disorganized, crazy and/or stupid. That's how individuals stay poor and nations get poor. You destroy the good ideas, and celebrate the illusions. You tear down anyone who does anything productive. You make sure everyone is equal, and set the bar low. The pattern repeats throughout history and there are no exceptions.

We will now have a $10 million show trial of this nutcase, who we've already paid to keep in prison for eight (8) years with his nutjob common law wife, and then decide he's an awful crazy homeless guy and put him away for another 20 years -- all at our expense.

I question whether we should even have a trial. He's a crazy homeless guy. You either lock those up, or they do stuff like this. Big surprise. You should probably skip the trial and simply exile all your crazy homeless guys from your community before they do more of this stuff. If crime drops, you should keep it as policy.

In the meantime, thinking we can make this guy a scapegoat is silly. Elizabeth Smart's father screwed up by pretending that paying crazy $10/hour is some kind of charity and that the crazy guy would not do what crazy guys do, which is steal, rape, mangle, lie, deceive, etc. Leap into life.

An award for gay and lesbian literature will be included in the American Library Association's annual announcement of children's prizes, a list which features the prestigious and influential Caldecott and Newbery medals.

The Stonewall prize honors "English-language works for children and teens of exceptional merit relating to the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered experience." - AP

When we were kids, we hated it that adults projected their world into ours.

Now they're doing it again, and forcing kids to become political tokens before they've even hit their teenage years. Then again, since we like selling them sex-related products, it's inevitable that sex will be politicized when Johnny notices he's attracted to boys.

But Johnny is at best 5% of the population, so we're tail wagging the dog here by making 95% of the kids view something that to them and how they're constructed sexually, is totally broken. Kids don't call other kids "fag" because they've been trained to hate fags by the US Army. They call kids fags because if you're a heterosexual, homosexuality is weird, inverted and/or repulsive to you. It's probably the same way for homosexuals looking at heteros, which is why traditionally we've kept this issue under wraps...

But no. American industry wants to make "My First Reverse Anal One-Night Stand" push-up bras for 7-year-olds because they're an emerging market, and we like our TV and media where the only affection people show each other is a quick flounce in some hotel bed, and we all like to think we're enlightened New Gods because we have no silly taboos like monogamy and so we accept anything, anything! that happens in the bedroom as legitimate. And what do the sheep think?

Alcohol is a more dangerous drug than both crack and heroin when the combined harms to the user and to others are assessed, British scientists said Monday.

Presenting a new scale of drug harm that rates the damage to users themselves and to wider society, the scientists rated alcohol the most harmful overall and almost three times as harmful as cocaine or tobacco. - AP

British Scientists, two words combined that don't make sense. There is no blockheadedly "logical" society on earth than the UK, which is so fixated on deconstructing logical relationships from the situational that it has become a form of comedy. A+B=C, therefore the alphabet is only composed of Cs... yes, the British. And now they want to tell us how to live, as their society collapses around them.

Inventing a new scale is not science. It's perspective change, like changing your wallpaper. Yes, you can cherrypick a different range of statistics to use, but the real problem is the one they're not facing: people are increasingly choosing to use whatever substances they can find to pursue oblivion. Why are they doing this? Their society is failing because of blockhead logic.

Of course cocaine users have fewer problems. They're wealthier. Of course alcohol is harmful; it's widely available, and it's what everyone drinks to forget their stupid jobs, the stupid rules, the stupid government, that they're on the dole. Is marijuana harmful? Well, let's dial it back: any substance that helps you live in a different reality is harmful if used to escape reality. And that's what people do in droves as a society dies.

Fix the problem: dying society. Don't make hollow headlines about the non-problem, which is whether they're drinking alcohol, shooting smack, watching TV, getting obese or huffing oven cleaner this week. Underlying problem remains undiscovered.

The humorous approach to politics has three distinct advantages over playing it straight.

The first is that comedy can entice a disengaged audience to partake in a political debate. Stewart’s nightly diatribes against Fox News draw nearly twice as many viewers as MSNBC pundit Keith Olbermann, who does the same thing in his signature monotone.

Second, political humor can hide behind a veneer of entertainment to deflect criticism. Much like the Shakespearian fool, modern-day comics are free to speak common-sense truths under the guise of foolishness. “That, of course, is the great secret of the successful fool – that he is no fool at all,” Isaac Asimov wrote in “Asimov’s Guide to Shakespeare.”


Finally, humorous attacks can only be countered with equally witty humor. Sarah Palin, the queen of the political zinger, has found mockery to be one of her most effective rhetorical weapons. She came out punching at the 2008 Republican National Convention, delivering a speech that earned her an army of nascent Tea Party supporters and riled Democratic activists into donating $10 million against her in one day. - CSM

More backward thinking from an army of morons! We should switch our politics to humor because we can't actually communicate about the issues, and it's harder to attack us when we do. Why can't we communicate about the issues? I don't know, but playing "don't attack me" isn't the solution -- it's furthering the divide. Obvious much? Yes, but the audience isn't considering that.

The "Rally to Restore Sanity" is part of the same problem is claims to deplore, which is that politics in America has become Idiocracy. Both sides are dumbing down the rhetoric, using vivid but misleading symbols, and encouraging "their side" to think themselves superior and the other side idiots, racists, hicks, whatever.

Claiming that you represent Sanity through humor is just another form of preaching to the crowd. Conveniently, they get well-paid for it, which allows all the nothingbrains to pretend they're "fixing the problem" while really, they're whipping it up to an advanced state of total division and insanity.

Luckily, this will allow the two sides to further see that they are fundamentally incompatible. Liberals want a society of subsidies where all behavior is OK, and they want to import third world voters to effect this. Conservatives, who apparently read more history than liberals, know this is a path to doom and loss of culture, prosperity, status and, hilariously, sanity.

Thank you for joining us for this Leap into Life: confronting the underlying realities that big-brained humans would rather smother in delusion.