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Fat excuse

« As idiocracy spreads,… | Home | Beat the Army at thei… »

11 01 09 - 09:48
Reading the news today I found a flurry of current stories about fatties. Perhaps "flurry" doesn't convey the necessary gravity, since it is not a matter to take lightly. The most recent data which, rather unhelpfully, is a few years out-of-date, shows that numbers of obese Americans (34%) now outnumber the merely overweight (32.7). It won't be any fewer by now, even with the tasty sounding "credit crunch" biting.

You really have to be a bit of a blimp before you show up on the radar as being "overweight". The criteria are very odd because they suggest that I would have to be 15kg or so heavier than I am before officially qualifying. If I became that heavy I would look full-term pregnant. And that brings me to the next revelation: a disproportionately high number of obese women compared with those of healthy weight are somehow overcoming their reduced fertility and can claim to be "eating for two".

Some British maternity units have had to widen doorways of delivery rooms because so many obese women are becoming pregnant. Up to half of women giving birth in some areas are obese. Now that's phenomenal. Why is that? "How dare you call me obese! I'm pregnant!" could be a way to justify rotundity and to prove someone found them sexy. In these days when women obsess about losing their figure there is more reason for a fatty to be happy getting pregnant, having no such concerns. It could be they don't even notice the fertilization happening though. Maybe these women accidentally sat on a small naked man - no that's getting to ludicrous. Another advantage to being up the duff would be that, when traveling by a Canadian airline, which now requires the obese to obtain a doctor's note in order to occupy two seats, the obese pregnant woman could ask her GP if the note could explain that she was technically two people in any case.

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"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow; a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
"

From William Shakespeare's "Macbeth"