XAM REVU thanx Rogues Gallery _______________________________________________________________________ This file of unusual op codes for programmers has got to be the funniest text file I have ever read. -- Steve Williams ====================================== AAC Alter All Commands AAD Alter All Data AAR Alter At Random AB Add Backwards ABR Add Beyond Range ACQT Advance Clock to Quitting Time ADB Another Damn Bug (UNIX) AFF Add Fudge Factor AFHB Align Fullword on Halfword Boundary AFVC Add Finagle's Variable Constant (the constant that must be added to make your data support your conclusions) AGB Add GarBage AI Add Improperly AIB Attack Innocent Bystander AMI Adjust Memory for Inflation AOI Annoy Operator Immediate AR Alter Reality ARN Add and Reset to Non-zero AS Add Sideways AWP Argue With Programmer AWTT Assemble With Tinker Toys BAC Branch to Alpha Centauri BAF Blow All Fuses BAH Branch And Hang BALC Branch And Link Cheeseburger BAM Branch After Midnight BB Branch on Bug BBI Branch on Burned-out Indicator BCF Branch and Catch Fire BCIL Branch Creating Infinite Loop BCR Backspace Card Reader BCU Burn the CPU Out Be Cruel and Unusual BDC Break Down and Cry BDM Branch and Disconnect Memory BDT Burn Data Tree (next opcode after decorate data tree) BE Branch Eventually Branch Everywhere (as in HHGttG's Infinite Improbability Computer) BF Belch Fire BLP Boot from Line Printer BLM Branch, Like, Maybe BLMWM Branch, Like, Maybe, Wow, Man BLSC Branch on Lapsed Service Contract BM Branch to Monday BMP Branch and Make Popcorn BMY Branch MaYbe BMYR Branch MaYbe Register BNA Branch to Nonexistent Address BNO Branch on New Operator BNR Branch for No Reason BOP Boot OPerator BPEOR ByPass End Of Reel BPIM Bury Programmer In Manuals (see OIM) BPP Branch on Programmer Present BRA BRanch Anywhere BRL BRanch and Leak BSI Backup Sewer Immediate BSM Brabcg abd Scramble Memory BSST Back Space and Stretch Tape BT Branch on Tuesdays (sometimes BRT) BTK Back To Kansas BW Branch on Whim Branch Whenever BWE Branch on Warranty Expired BWOP BeWilder OPerator CAAL Compute Answer And Loop CAB Crash And Burn CAF Convert ASCII to Farsic CAIL Crash After I Leave CAT Confused And Tired (UNIX) CBA Compare and Branch Anyway CBNC Close, But No Cigar CBO Change to Base One CC Call Cavalry CCD Clear Core and Dump Choke, Cough, and Die Clear Current Directory (this may really exist!) CEE Cause Errors Elsewhere CF Come From CFE Call Field Engineer CH Create Havoc CIB Change Important Byte CIMM Create Imaginary Memory Map CM Confuse Memory CL Call Lawyer CMD Compare Meaningless Data CMI Clobber Monitor Immediately CML Compute Meaning of Life CNB Cause Nervous Breakdown COLB Crash for Operator's Lunch Break COS Copy Object code to Source file COWHU Come Out With your Hands Up CPB Create Program Bug CPR Compliment PRogrammer ("Aren't you cute!") CRASH Continue Running After Stop or Halt CRM Clear Random Memory CRN Convert to Roman Numerals CRYPT reCuRsive encrYPt Tape mnemonic (UNIX) CS Crash System CSL Curse and Swear Loudly CSN Call Supervisor Names CVFL ConVert Floating to Logical CVFP ConVert FORTRAN to Pascal CVG ConVert to Garbage CWAH Create Woman And Hold DA Develop Amnesia DAP De-select Active Peripheral DBL Desegregate Bus Lines DBR DeBase Register DBZ Divide By Zero DC Degauss Core DCGC Dump Confusing Garbage to Console DD Destroy Disk DDC Dally During Calculations DDWB Deposit Directly in Wastepaper Basket DEC Decompile Executable Code DIE DIsable Everything (UNIX during hardware errors? :-)) DIIL Disable Interrupts and Infinite Loop DIRFW Do It Right For Once DK Destroy Klingons DKP Disavow Knowledge of Programmer DLN Don't Look Now..... DMAG Do MAGic this is the only command you really need DMPE Decide to Major in Phys. Ed. DOC Drive Operator Crazy DPC Decrement Program Counter DPMI Declare Programmer Mentally Incompetent DPR Destroy PRogram DPR Distribute Packages Randomly DSI Do Something Interesting DSTD Do Something Totally Different DSUIT Do Something Utterly, Indescribably Terrible DTC Destroy This Command DTI Do The Impossible DTVFL Destroy Third Variable From Left DW Destroy World Destroy Work DWIM Do What I Mean DWIT Do What I'm Thinking EAL Enable AC to Logic rack EAO Enable AC to Operator EBB Empty Bit Bucket EBRS Emit Burnt Resistor Smell ECO Electrocute Computer Operator ECP Erase Card Punch EDD Eat Disk and Die EDIT Erase Data and Increment Time EEP Erase Entire Program EIAO Execute In Any Order EIOC Execute Invalid OpCode EMT Electrocute Maintenance Technician ENA ENable Anything ENF Emit Noxious Fumes EOB Execute Operator and Branch EOI Execute Operator Immediately EP Execute Programmer EPI Execute Programmer Immediately ERM Erase Reserved Memory EROM Erase Read Only Memory EROS Erase Read Only Storage (sounds like an IBM special!) ESL Exceed Speed of Light ESP Enable SPrinkler system ETI Execute This Instruction (for recursive programs) ETM Emulate Trinary Machine EX EXecute operation EXI EXecute Invalid operation EXO EXecute ignorant Operator EXX (a real instruction on the Zilog Z-80 -- Zilog is owned by EXXon) FB Find Bugs FD Forget Data FLD FLing Disk FLI Flash Lights Impressively FM Forget Memory FMP Finish My Program FRG Fill with Random Garbage FSM Fold, Spindle, and Mutilate GBB Go to Back of Bus GCAR Get Correct Answer Regardless GDP Grin Defiantly at Programmer GIE Generate Irreversible Error GND Guess at Next Digit GORS GO Real Slow GPS Give Programmer the Shaft GREP Global Ruin, Expiration, and Purgation (UNIX) HAH Halt And Hang HCF Halt and Catch Fire HCRS Hang in CRitical Section HCP Hide Central Processor HELP type "No help available" HF Hide a File HIS Halt in Impossible State HOO Hide Operator's Output IBR Insert Bugs at Random IDI Invoke Divine Intervention ILI Ignore Last Instruction IOI Ignore Operator's Instruction IP Increment and Pray IPW Invert Print Wheel ISC Insert Sarcastic Comments ISI Increment and Skip on Infinity ISP Increment and Skip on Pi IU Ignore User JAA Jump Almost Always JFI Jump to Following Instruction JFM Jump on Full Moon JLP Jump and Lose Pointer JNL Jump when programmer is Not Looking JOM Jump Over Moon JRAN Jump RANdom (not to be confused with IRAN -- Idiots RANdom) JTI Jump to This Instruction (the NS32000 DIAG instruction?) JTZ Jump to Twilight Zone KP Krunch Paper KUD Kill User's Data LAC Lose All Communication LAP Laugh At Program(mer) LB Look Busy LMB Lose Message and Branch LOSM Log Off System Manager LPA Lead Programmer Astray LSPB Left Shift Parity Bits LUM LUbricate Memory MAN Make Animal Noises (UNIX) MAZ Multiply Answer by Zero MBTD Mount Beatles on Tape Drive MBTOL Move Bugs To Operator's Lunch MD Move Devious MDB Move and Drop Bits MDDHAF Make Disk Drive Hop Across Floor MLB Memory Left shift and Branch MLP Make Lousy Program Multiply and Lose Precision MLR Move and Lose Record MMLG Make Me Look Good MNI Misread Next Instruction MOP Modify Operator's Personality MPLP Make Pretty Light Pattern MRZ Make Random Zap MW Malfunction Whenever MWT Malfunction Without Telling OIM Open Inside Mac(intosh) OML Obey Murphy's Laws OPP Order Pizza for Programmer OSI Overflow Stack Indefinitely PBC Print and Break Chain PBM Pop Bubble Memory PBPBPBP Place Backup in Plain Brown Paper Bag, Please (for stealing code) PEHC Punch Extra Holes in Cards PIBM Pretend to be an IBM PIC Print Illegible Characters PNRP Print Nasty Replies to Programmer PO Punch Operator POPN Punch OPerator's Nose PPR Play Punk Rock PROM Punch, Rip Or Mangle (cards) PTP Produce Toilet Paper PUL Print Unknown Language RA Randomize Answer RAU Ridicule All Users RBAO Ring Bell and Annoy Operator RBEOR Read Beyond End Of Reel RBF Read Beyond File RCB Read Commands Backward RCR Rewind Card Reader RDA Refuse to Disclose Answer RDCH Read Disk and Crash Head RDI Reverse Disk Immediate RENVR REName Variables Randomly RF Read Fingerprints RG Record Garbage RHP Read Hub Protector RLC Relocate and Lose Core RLI Rotate Left Indefinitely RLP Refill Light Pen RM Ruin My files (UNIX) ROM Read Operator's Mind RPB Read, Print, and Blush RPM Read Programmer's Mind RPU Read character and Print Upside down RRSGWSSNK Round and Round She Goes, Where She Stops, Nobody Knows RRT Rewind and Rip Tape RSD Read and Scramble Data RTP Reduce ThroughPut RWD ReWind Disk RWF Read Wrong File SAF Switch to AFN Frankfurt SAI Skip All Instructions SAS Sit And Spin SCB Scramble CPU for Breakfast SCCA Short Circuit on Correct Answer SDD Seek and Destroy Data SDE Solve Differential Equations SDM Shoot Disk to Moon SFH Set Flags to Half-mast SFT Stall For Time SLP Sharpen Light Pen SMC Scramble Memory Contents SMD Spontaneous Memory Dump (Use only with classified data) SMT Stretch Mag Tape SOAWP SOlve All of the World's Problems SOS Sign Off, Stupid SP Staple and Punch new center hole SPP Shoot Programmer, Please SPS Smoke Power Supply SRDR Shift Right, Double Ridiculous SRO Sort with Random Ordering SSD Stacker Select Disk SSJ Select Stacker and Jam SSM Stacker Select Memory Solve by Supernatural Means SSP Seek SPindle STO Strangle Tape Operator STPR SToP Rain SUI Subtract User's IQ SUME SUprise ME SUP Solve Unsolvable Problem SUR Screw Up Royally SUS Stop Until Spring Subtract Until Senseless SWT Select Wrong Terminal SWU Select Wrong Unit TARC Take Arithmetic Review Course TBGTG Two BurGers and fries To Go TC Transmit Colors (but avoid red) TIAIGYAA Try It Again And I'll Give You Another Answer. TLNF Teach me a Lesson I'll Never Forget TLO Turn indicator Lights Off TLW Transfer and Lose Way TN Take a Nap TPDH Tell Programmer to Do it Him/Her self TRA Te Rdls Arvs (Type Ridiculous Abbreviations) TT%EKB TeleType - Electrify KeyBoard TTA Try, Try Again TTL Tap Trunk Line UAI Use Alternate Instruction set UCB Uncouple Communication lines and Break Uncouple CPU and Break UER Update and Erase Record UP Understand Program VAX Violate All eXecutions VFE Violate Field Engineer VFO Violate Female Operator VMA Violate Maintenance Agreement VNO Violate Noise Ordinance VVM Vaporize Virtual Memory VW Void Warranty WAD Walk Away in Disgust WBF Write Bad File WDI Write Data and Ignore WFDT Write File and Destroy Tape WHP Wave Hands over Problem WSE Write Stack Everywhere WSWW Work in Strange and Wondrous Ways WTIEOR Write Tape, Ignore End Of Reel XAI eXecute Another Instruction XIO eXecute Invalid Opcode XKF eXecute Kermit the Frog XMB eXclusive MayBe XOS eXchange Operator's Sex YKWIM You Know What I Mean *** And here are some miscellaneous non-instructions *** IBM It's Better Manually. I've Been Moved Intimidated, Buffaloed Management Insultingly Boring Merchandisers Itty Bitty Machine Ingrained Batch Mentality Intelligence Belittling Meaning I Bought Macintosh Incorrigible Boisterous Mammoth Incest Begets Madness Intellectuals Being Moronized Inspect Before Multiusing Inertia Breeds Mediocrity It Beats Mattel Insipid Belligerent Mossbacks Imperialism By Marketing Institution By Machiavelli Into Building Money Irresponsibly Behave Multinational Insipidly Bankrolling Millions Innovation By Management Impenetrable Brain Matter Idolized By Management Itsa Big Mess Ingenuity Becomes Mysterious Investigate Baffling Malodor Intolerant of Beards and Moustaches Install Bigger Memory I Bring Manuals I Poo-Poo (think about it) RAM Rarely Available Memory SPA Sliding Point Arithmetic VPA Vanishing Point Arithmetic WOM Write Only Memory Top 15 new advertising slogans for Delta Airlines 1) "We never make the same mistake three times" 2) "A real man lands where he wants to" 3) "So that's what those buttons do" 4) "Bring a bathing suit" 5) "Terrorists are afraid to fly with us" 6) "We're Amtrak with wings" 7) "Join our frequent near-miss program" 8) "Ask about our out-of-court settlements" 9) "Noisy engines? We'll turn 'em off" 10) "Complimentary Champagne during free-falls" 11) "Enjoy the in-flight movie on the plane next to you" 12) "The kids will love our inflatible slides" 13) "If you think it's so easy, get your own plane" 14) "Our pilots are terminally ill and have nothing to lose" 15) "We might be landing on your street"