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                    \ SMOKING /
                     \ )POT( /
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     |  THE RULES             |
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Tips, Hints, and most importantly, the RULES of smoking the joy weed.

Written by The Penguin...Sysop of Circus Maximus PAE/BBS 6MB....804 973-3644
                                  Call for more files about weed

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Let's start off by saying one simple rule. The first rule of smoking pot. The
most important rule of smoking pot.

>> RULE #1 : "Always Light"

It's simple enough. Always like your bowl. Don't inhale the wimpy smoke made by
hot pot coals (sounds good, doesn't it?). It'll take you longer to get the buzz
you're lookin' for.

>> RULE #2 : "Don't invite buzz-stompers"

Pick out the people you want to get stoned with. Don't get anyone who falls
asleep after a couple hits. They're boring, they'll stomp your buzz out in a
second. Stuck-up bitch girls are no good either. First, you probably won't get
them to smoke it, but if they do, then they'll just start complaining about
something. Get a guy or a girl (did you know that marijuana decreases your sex
drive?) who is fun to be around, who doesn't overreact to being stoned. Someone
funny. Y'know?

>> RULE #3 : "Fill it to the rim..."

Don't be a cheapskate. No one likes a cheapskate.  Fill EVERY bowl you fill to
the rim. Don't say "Let's smoke half a bowl, dude!". Fill 'er up! Party and live
on the wild side. Half bowls disappear after like two hits. You won't make
friends if you're skimpy with your weed. Share and share alike.

>> RULE #4 : "Pack it down."

After filling it to the rim, pack the stuff down. Push it hard (don't break the
bowl!) and if there's room, add a little more on top. Or sprinkle with some hash
if ya have it. Packing a bowl down tight makes it burn longer, and you get yer
money's worth.

>> RULE #5 : "Cover 'er up..."

After each hit, cover your bowl with something. It puts the hot pot coals out
and therefore you're not wasting any. This is an important one if you're low on
the thai weed.

>> RULE #6 : "NEVER more than one..."

If you're doing this with others, NEVER take two hits in a row. It's just plain
impolite. If you wanna be an asshole though, skip RULE #6....

>> RULE #7:  "NEVER ask..."

If you're sitting around with a bunch of people, NEVER say something like: "Are
y'all stoned?" It sounds real stupid. And never say "Wow, I'm buzzin' dude!" if
it's not your weed. People often smoke like oregano to fool ya'. Of course if
you're doing it with someone you can trust, no prob. I know a guy who cut his
hair, put it in a ziplok sandwich baggie, and sold it to a kid for $40! Watch
out if you're a dumbfuck....

>> RULE #8 : "Visine!"

If yer gonna be around family members, or you just don't want your mental
condition to be known, use the old standby....Visine.  It'll clear up your eyes
in no time. Generally, when confronted by authorities (parents, etc), a stoned
person can act perfectly fine. It's their eyes and breath that usually give it
away (or of course if your smoking a joint).

>> RULE #9 : "Never cough..."

If you inhale and you feel your throat burning, DON'T COUGH!  It'll waste good
weed and get the supplier pissed. Plus, your throat will hurt for about an hour
IF YOU COUGH. Just swallow a couple time and your spit will cool down the hot
pot....


TIP:  Before buying weed from an unkown supplier, smell it! And taste it if
      necessary. Make sure it's not a cop. If it is, get the hell out of there.
      If you happen to have an machine gun handy, blem 'em away!

BEWARE:  A kid's worst enemy is his parent. If your parent's don't know about
         it, make sure it stays that way. Unless maybe they're cool, and they
         accepted that joint you offered them.

TIP:  Storage place. Get a big hard cover book you don't want. Either using
      a jig saw or an exacto knife, cut the innards of the book out, leaving
      like an inch on each side. Store stuff in there. I have mine stored
      in 'Jack London's Adventure Stories'. Hehe.....

Well, I guess that's all for now. Now pack a bowl, follow the rules, and enjoy!

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Smoke some weed at...
                     Circus Maximus PAE/BBS, 6Meg..............804 973-3644
Written December 7, 1987
By The Penguin
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