Advanced techniques in the age-old art of Shoplifting By Grim Reaper Houston,Tx As to why thieves would actually get this file, print it, and read it, I do not [Thieves always have a disrespect for authority] know. But for eager thieves looking for a short course from a veteran of the art, this is a part of your education. Specifications: This file will come in one part, and should not be split up for the good of the reader and the user who I will kill if he changes it in any way. In this short file I will explain the ways of shoplifting and then common thievery in it's lower form for the novices. But do not be put off, shoplifting in our day and age is now a very advanced part of thievery. Shoplifting, or the accidental loss and gain of inventory: In this section we will cover all the movements of a common shoplifter, and then a master of the way. I will explain each step later. They are both checking out a Hastings record store for Heavy Metal records.... COMMONTHIEF Today George, in preperation for his bout of shoplifting, wore a long, black surgeon's coat and jeans. He has on running shoes in case he has to make a run for it. He drove himself to the mall in his car and entered at 3:00 heading toward the record store. Entering throught the wide open entrance, he brushes past a man in jeans and t-shirt carrying a bookstore bag. Going to the Heavy metal section, he shifts through the records. Oh Look! A Slayer album! What is it? Live Undead? Just what he needed.... He nonchalantly rotates his head, and seeing nobody looking he slips it under his coat next to his left arm. Then, looking around again....he walks out away from the counter, and whistling, heads out of the mall. Evaluation of Common thief: George succeeded in his quest, using methods that you probably use. He was lucky, let me show the bad points. 1. His dressing. Most shoplifters dress this way, I do not know why anymore since it has become the trademark of the shoplifter, and arouses suspicion. I usually just dress a normal kid of my age would. Jeans, t-shirt, tennis shoes. In the winter I would wear a coat. This sort of dressing does NOT arouse suspicion. Also your hair...if you're a punker and have a two foot mohawk, get rid of it. Record stores and even bookstores get a lot of people like you, but it still lets in amazement and you'll have people staring at you the whole time. 2. He was nervous. This will always get you caught unless you are extra careful. Somebody might ask-"Hey man, why you puking on floor?" and notice that you have just lifted about twenty objects. Be calm and collected, but not too much so that people are aware of it...just act normal. Behave as if you SHOULD be doing this...and whatever you do don't get mental and freak out under the pressure..... be patient, and the time will come. 3. He whistled when he walked away. I should of changed it to running, as a person who actually whistles walking out is dumb enough to run around the mall yelling "I did it, I did it!". This is sure enough a thing that causes eyes to glance at you, and take in the image, maybe noticing the object you stole. Just move out calmly and walk away.... 4. His method of lifting the object. He slipped it under his coat. Right when they see that they'll nab you. You'll bullshit your way out of it no doubt, but you just ruined the chance for any other shoplifter because they now have an alibi to add security. Your number one priority is NOT getting caught. The tuck- under-the-arm is gone. What you need these days is a bag, from another store that people carry around. It should be big enough for your object in question. Just go in, grab the object, and suavely drop it in the bag as you bump into somebody or round a corner. This move is called an obstruction, and it'll work most of the time unless you're in a wide open area. I use this a lot. Or you can just walk out with the object, but I don't recommend it. Oh, and some stores now spray a metallic luster on the price tag that a metal detector in the door or entrance can detect. Take off all external tags before you go out. This might also let you say that the thing was yours in the first place, you didn't steal it. Now let's do the- VETERAN THIEF George bumped into a man at the door, that was our master shoplifter. This guy is a veteran, as you can see by just looking at him. Close-cropped hair, jeans, Def-Leppard t-shirt, tennis shoes, and a bookstore [B. Dalton] bag. He walks into the store, bumps into an annoying kid in a black coat, and goes over to the tapes and looks around....acts smooth, with ease. Then he talks with a girl as he moves over to the Heavy metal section. The girl has to go, she leaves.... He shifts the records around, sees the one he wants, and puts in another place close to his hand. He shifts again through the records as if he can't make up his mind. Now moving toward the checkout he bumps into a big man, this time on purpose. As he is saying-"Excuse me,sir" he slips the record into his bag and then exits the store, walking to the exit. Nobody noticed anything, for he used counter-images such as the bumping and talking with people. He is now home free..... Postsaying: Now that you have learned something, go out and use it, be wary, and do not get caught. Remember, perfect practice makes perfect. GrimReaper Houston, Tx.