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!                                     !
!  HOW TO PHREAK HBO/SHO/SPORTSCANNEL !
!        BY ROBIN HOOD                !
!                                     !
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  WELCOME TO A FIRST IN A SERIES ON HOW TO 'RIP OFF THE WORLD'. THE TOPIC OF OUR
DISCUSSION TODAY WILL BE ON HOW TO BRING HBO/SHO/SPORTSCHANNEL INTO YOUR HUMBLE
DOMAIN. THIS PROCEDURE I INTAILS SCALING YOUR LOCAL TELEPHONE POLE-SO I MUST
WARN YOU-IF YOU SLIP AND PLUMMET TO THE GROUND AND DIE REMEMBER- DOUBLE DENSITY
WROTE THIS ARTICLE. (A BRIEF ASIDE, DOUBLE DENSITY (HENCEFORTH KNOWN AS ASSHOLE)
IS THE REIGNING SYSOP AT SHADOW WORLD.)

  ENOUGH OF THE MOCKARY AND LETS START TO INSTALL YOUR 'PAY' CABLE CHANNELS.
THE FOLLOWING IS NEEDED TO INSTALL THE SERVICES:

    [01] LADDER
    [02] TWO PAIRS OF PLIERS

ONCE YOU ARE DONE PILAGING YOUR HOUSE FOR THESE ITEMS YOU ARE READY TO PROCEDE
TO THE NEXT STEP, FINDING THE CABLE WIREST. THE EASISEST WAY TO DO THIS IS JUST
TO TRACE THEM OUT FROM YOUR HOUSE TO THE WIRE AND THEN TO THE CORRESPONDING
TELEPHONE POLE.

ONCE HAVING LOCATED YOUR TELEPHONE POLE YOU ARE READY TO BEGIN YOUR ASSAULT. SET
UP THE LADDER AND CLIMB THAT POLE!(ONE CAUTION THE LOWEST CABLE IS YOUR
TELEPHONE-DONT MESS WITH THAT! AND THE HIGHEST CABLE IS YOUR POWER- NO WARNING
NEED BE ISSUED ABOUT THAT WIRE). OKAY NOW YOU SHOULD BE ON YOUR LADDER NEXT TO
THE TELEPHONE POLE. 

EITHER TO THE LEFT OR RIGHT OF THE POLE 1-2 FEET, THERE WILL BE YOUR CABLE WIRE
(WHICH THEN LEADS TO A SILVER BOX). IF YOU LOOK CAREFULLY AT YOUR CABLE FIRE YOU
WILL SEW A RED AND BLUE AND WHITE TAG ON IT. THIS TAG TELLS 'MR.CABLE' WHAT
SERVICES YOU HAVE. AT ONE END OF YOUR CABLE-RIGHT BEFORE IT JOINS THE MAIN CABLE
WIRES THEIR WILL BE A CABLE WOUND UP. (THIS FUNCTIONS AS THE RESISTANCE THAT
BLOCKS OUT SHO/HBO ETC). PRIOR TO THIS CABLE (IT IS USUALLY RAPPED IN A CIRCULAR
FORMATION AND SECURED TO THE CABLE FIRE.) THIER IS A 75OHM MALE CONNECTOR
CONNECTED TO THE COIL. UNSCREW THIS (USING THE TWO PLIERS - YOU DID REMEMBER
THEM DIDN'T YOU?). NOW ONE END OF THE COIL IS DISCONNECTED. NOW GO TO THE SILVER
BOX-WHERE THE SECOND PART OF THE COIL CONNECTS AND DISCONNECT THAT AS WELL. (LET
THE COIL PLUMMET TO THE GROUND - YOU DON'T NEED IT AGAIN.). NOW CONNECT THE WIRE
THAT GOES DIRECTLY FROM YOUR CABLE FIRE TO THE SILVER BOX. AND THAT WILL
CONCLUDE THE INSTALLATION OF THE 'PAY' TV'S.

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTION LEAVE EMAIL AND I WILL GET BACK TO YOU POST HASTE.

WATCH FOR THE NEXT EPISODE-HOW TO MAKE A BLUE BOX.

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